Sick AND Stupid

Some freak child molester was apprehended in Thailand after authorities were able to unscramble pics the a-hole had Photoshopped and posted to the Internet. He figured obscuring his face would be enough. I hope he rots.

Thai Police arrest Christopher NEIL, identified as man in child sexual abuse photos (link)

Christopher Paul NEIL, a 32-year-old Canadian man identified as being the person in a series of child sex abuse photos posted on the Internet, was arrested by Royal Thai Police on 19 October. NEIL's arrest in northeast Thailand came just 10 days after INTERPOL launched an unprecedented global public appeal on 8 October to identify the man whose face appeared in more than 200 images of child sex abuse.

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The Tao of Lee

(Posted as part of the Close-Up Blog-a-thon hosted at The House Next Door)

I happened upon this shot from John Ford's slightly uneven, but still worth watching, "The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance" (1962) quite by accident.

Because I generally focus on John Wayne in this particular scene, the two shot with Lee Marvin in the foreground caught my attention. In a nutshell, it captures Marvin's appeal as a movie tough guy.



It's the first on-screen encounter between Liberty Valance (Marvin) and Tom Doniphon (Wayne) in the movie. Ostensibly, they're fighting over who's going to pick up Doniphon's dropped steak off the floor. But, of course, it's about much more.

Valance has been a real prick up to this point, exhibiting violent anti-social behavior boarding on the insane. During the "steak incident" he backs down from Doniphon. Marvin's expression here suggests the mental calculations Valance is making as he sizes up the situation before pragmatically deciding to turn tail. Yet, somehow this doesn't diminish his onscreen danger. How many actors could pull that off?

Later, Valance sadistically torments milquetoast lawyer, Ransom Stoddard (Jimmy Stewart).



Valance is clearly the alpha-male in the match-up with Stoddard. However, Marvin's expression is not that much different from the earlier scene with Wayne. Except, maybe this time he's having more fun.

This is an early revisionist Western (somewhere between "Broken Arrow" and "Unforgiven" on the paradigm shift scale). So, instead of a traditional showdown between the hero and villian, it has Doniphon, hiding in an alley with a rifle, shooting Valance dead in cold blood.

Doniphon's motives aren't about justice, or eliminating a mad-man for the sake of the community, or even revenge. He's doing it strictly to ensure a happy future for the love of his life, Hallie (Vera Miles).

Like Liberty Valance, Tom Doniphon is pragmatic too.
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Pagila on Iraq, Rush and Warming

Excerts from Camille Pagila's October column. She's always interesting and, as usual, I cherry-pick. Follow this link for the entire thing.

Iraq
Withdrawing U.S. troops and equipment from Iraq will be a complicated and dangerous process that will take many months. But it should be launched on a massive scale immediately. Iraq's fate needs to be decided by Iraqis, whose quarreling ancient tribes and factions have little motivation to compromise as long as the U.S. military is planted there to keep the peace. A democratic Iraq would be desirable in the best of all possible worlds, but it may be a desert mirage -- not worth the loss of thousands of American lives or the investment of hundreds of billions of dollars desperately needed for U.S. social services and infrastructure....

...Whatever its rationale for the invasion of Iraq (arguments rage over the relative weight of Israel, oil, Halliburton, al-Qaida or none of the above), the Bush-Cheney administration seems to have been blinded by its own naive idealism, provincialism and abject ignorance of history. The continued American presence in Iraq is not a solution but an obstruction to regional cooperation. Saudi Arabia certainly doesn't want Iran gobbling up its neighbors. But the shrewd Saudis, rolling in riches, have no incentive to take responsibility so long as the U.S. goes on playing policeman and footing the bill.

Sigh...it's pretty hard to argue with her logic. She's especially effective because she's not like the Jeanine Garfalo types who come across as shrill, can't discuss the topic beyond slogans, and then finish their presentation by saying 9/11 was an "inside job."

Rush Limbaugh
...I must confess my own exasperation with the Democratic leadership, who spout tiresome platitudes but achieve little and who stampede off on puerile publicity stunts that alienate potential voters across party lines. The latest example is the near-delusional campaign to turn popular radio host Rush Limbaugh, who has unwaveringly supported the military for nearly 20 years, into an anti-military antichrist. If Democrats are serious about ideology-based government regulation of talk radio, then the party is fast abandoning its fundamental principles, central to which should be constitutionally protected free speech.

Talk about shooting themselves in the foot. Clearly trying to snipe back because of the furor over the "General Betray Us" flap, the Dems who signed this thing look like a bunch of idiots. I love that the actual Harry Reid letter sold for $4 million on eBay.

"Global Warming"
The simplest facts about geology seem to be missing from the mental equipment of many highly educated people these days. There is far too much credulity placed in fancy-pants, speculative computer modeling about future climate change. Furthermore, hand-wringing media reports about hotter temperatures in the Northern Hemisphere are rarely balanced by acknowledgment of the recent cold waves in South Africa and Australia, the most severe in 30 years.

Well said.
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M-I-C-K-E-WHYYY

(Posted as part of the Close-Up Blog-a-thon hosted at The House Next Door)

Viewable on VEOH

Only five years after his first appearance in "Steamboat Willie," Mickey Mouse found himself facing the "The Mad Doctor" in a short from 1933.

I saw this close to 40 years ago (on my dad's "regular 8" movie projector) and have never forgotten it.

The title character is a knife welding psychopath who wants to graph the head of Mickey's dog Pluto onto a chicken. Mickey has to make his way through a house of horrors to rescue his beloved pet.

This close-up of the doctor taking a menacing lunge at Pluto still gives me the creeps.

The Disney animator's attention to detail is great. Wearing latex gloves and a white surgical gown (with various "tools" in his pockets), this doctor would feel right at home on the set of "Saw" or "Hostel."






Speaking of "Saw," near the end of the short, Mickey finds himself strapped to a gurney as a buzz saw is lowered from the ceiling.



Was this really made for kids?
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Vast Right-Wing Hate Machine?

I think the "vast right wing hate machine" (whatever that is), which was initially blamed for the "attack" on Randi Rhodes (whoever she is) by Air America's Jon Elliot (never heard of him), would probably pick more prominent targets.

By "prominent" I mean personalities on radio stations that people ACTUALLY listen to.

Attorney For Air America Host Disputes NYC Mugging (link)

NEW YORK -- An attorney for Air America radio personality Randi Rhodes is disputing on on-air report by a colleague that the liberal talk show host was attacked on a Manhattan street.

Air America's Jon Elliott announced on his late-night show Monday that Rhodes had been assaulted Sunday while walking her dog about a block from her Park Avenue home. He also speculated that the attack was the work of "the right wing hate machine."

Elliott's account of the incident, however, was contested Tuesday by Rhodes attorney, Robert Gaulin.

Gaulin confirmed that Rhodes was injured after she was floored by someone -- or something -- as she strolled the streets of Manhattan's Murray Hill district around 8 p.m., but wasn't sure herself what sent her tumbling to the pavement.

"She hit her head on the street and was disoriented," Gaulin said. "She's not sure what happened. She didn't see anything." He added that she never reported the incident to police.

Air America released a statement saying that "the reports of a presumed hate crime are unfounded."

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Back to the Future

(Posted as part of the Close-Up Blog-a-thon hosted at The House Next Door)

I thought I'd stick my neck out to take a heretical swipe at a famous close-up from what many (myself included) consider a masterpiece, Stanley Kubrick's "2001: A Space Odyssey."

Namely, the cut that spanned a million years.

Our ape man ancestor, his mental abilities enhanced by an alien encounter, celebrates a violent victory over a rival tribe by throwing his new weapon, a large bone, into the air. We see it spinning upward, then fall back to earth.



Suddenly, the scene cuts to outerspace and a shot of something orbiting the earth while the "Blue Danube" plays in the background.

A few years after seeing the movie, I read "The Making of Kubrick's 2001" by Jerome Agel and realized that the objects circling the globe were supposed to be nuclear weapons.

While I was quite young when I saw "2001," I can't honestly say that I would pick up on this if I were seeing it for the first time today.

My guess would be that eighty to ninety percent of those who view the movie wouldn't know exactly what the orbiters were supposed to be UNLESS they had read a book such as Agel's.

Am I alone in this opinion?

Sure, there's the "bone as weapon" connection. But, that could just as easily (and more probably) be interpreted as a link between the bone and advanced technology in general. A different idea. Subtle, yes, but different.

So, what’s the big deal? Okay, you didn’t get it. Does it matter THAT much?

Well, here’s my gripe: I can’t help but feel slightly cheated by the ambiguity because KNOWING that the Earth is surrounded by orbiting WMDs:

• TOTALLY changes the dynamic of the space ballet scene
• adds another layer of complexity to the lack of emotion exhibited by the human characters
• explains HAL's later murder spree a bit more (he’s our kid after all)
• makes Bowman's return to Earth as the star child THAT much more of a poignant and hopeful moment

For what it's worth, in Arthur C. Clarke’s book version of "2001" (the one he wrote while the movie was being shot, NOT his original short story, "The Sentinel", that inspired it), the star child detonates those devices (an ending Kubrick apparently considered but jettisoned because it was too close to the final scene of "Dr. Strangelove").

I realize that Kubrick wanted the audience to reach their own conclusions (that's why he decided against using a narration track). However, I submit that is a piece of exposition that could (and should) have been made a bit less obscurely.

Okay, rant over (I'll sit down calmly, take a stress pill, and think things over).

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Cartoon Caption Contest #116

Yet another set of lame finalists for the New Yorker "Cartoon Caption" contest. (link)



My entry: "Your work just seems flat and two dimensional to me."

Okay, maybe this isn't hilarious. But, I don't think the "best" submissions are all that great:

• "It would work better with an alien."


• "It's just not funny if she looks so sexy."


• "On what planet do you imagine this would be funny?"

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Mad Dogs and Englishmen

(Posted as part of the Close-Up Blog-a-thon hosted at The House Next Door)

Matt Z's "Close-Up" posting for "The Manchurian Candidate" reminded me of another great political thriller, 1973's "The Day of the Jackal" (directed by Fred Zinnemann). The sniper scope shot at the end plays a prominent role in the film's finale.

So as not to play spoiler, the shot I've posted above actually occurs a minute or two before the climax.

VERY faithful to Frederick Forsyth's novel of the same name, the film takes place in 1961 and follows a fictional plot by a French terrorist group, the OAS, to assassinate President Charles de Gaulle. After several failures, which they blame on internal leaks, the OAS hires an outsider from England code named "The Jackal" to do the job.

The "fair haired" assassin meets with his employers to discuss terms:

Colonel Rodin: "And how much do you want?"
The Jackal: "Half a million."
Colonel Rodin: "What?"
The Jackal: "In cash. Half in advance and half on completion."
Colonel Rodin: "Half a million francs!"
The Jackal: "Dollars."
Colonel Rodin: "Are you mad?"
The Jackal: "Considering you expect to get France in return, I'd have thought it a reasonable price."

Still relevant today and perfectly paced, the film juxtaposes the actions of single-minded fanatics against benignly indifferent bureaucrats.

One of the lead bureaucrats, Claude Lebel, laments "It's obvious that The Jackal has been tipped off all along and yet he's decided to go ahead, regardless. He simply challenged the whole lot of us."

Since the real Charles de Gaulle WASN'T killed by terrorists, I'm not divulging anything by saying that the bureaucrats win.

However, the great irony of the film, as demonstrated in the sniper scope shot, is that the Jackal fails, NOT due to the actions of his pursuers, but BECAUSE he is an outsider and not completely familiar with French ceremonial customs (I won't say any more).
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Dowd's Best Column EVER

The highly overrated Maureen Dowd let Stephen Colbert write her New York Times column for October 14th. It's funnier than her usual stuff.

If the NYT were to dump Dowd for Colbert, I'd actually consider paying for a subscription. (link)

I Am an Op-Ed Columnist (And So Can You!)

I’d like to thank Maureen Dowd for permitting/begging me to write her column today. As I type this, she’s watching from an overstuffed divan, petting her prize abyssinian and sipping a Dirty Cosmotinijito. Which reminds me: Before I get started, I have to take care of one other bit of business:

Bad things are happening in countries you shouldn’t have to think about. It’s all George Bush’s fault, the vice president is Satan, and God is gay.

There. Now I’ve written Frank Rich’s column too.

So why I am writing Miss Dowd’s column today? Simple. Because I believe the 2008 election, unlike all previous elections, is important. And a lot of Americans feel confused about the current crop of presidential candidates.

For instance, Hillary Clinton. I can’t remember if I’m supposed to be scared of her so Democrats will think they should nominate her when she’s actually easy to beat, or if I’m supposed to be scared of her because she’s legitimately scary.

Or Rudy Giuliani. I can’t remember if I’m supposed to support him because he’s the one who can beat Hillary if she gets nominated, or if I’m supposed to support him because he’s legitimately scary.

And Fred Thompson. In my opinion “Law & Order” never sufficiently explained why the Manhattan D.A. had an accent like an Appalachian catfish wrestler.

Well, suddenly an option is looming on the horizon. And I don’t mean Al Gore (though he’s a world-class loomer). First of all, I don’t think Nobel Prizes should go to people I was seated next to at the Emmys. Second, winning the Nobel Prize does not automatically qualify you to be commander in chief. I think George Bush has proved definitively that to be president, you don’t need to care about science, literature or peace.

Good stuff.

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Is There a Chill in the Air?

From the Syndey Morning Herald: (link)

Gore gets a cold shoulder

ONE of the world's foremost meteorologists has called the theory that helped Al Gore share the Nobel Peace Prize "ridiculous" and the product of "people who don't understand how the atmosphere works".

Dr William Gray, a pioneer in the science of seasonal hurricane forecasts, told a packed lecture hall at the University of North Carolina that humans were not responsible for the warming of the earth

...

Dr Gray, whose annual forecasts of the number of tropical storms and hurricanes are widely publicised, said a natural cycle of ocean water temperatures - related to the amount of salt in ocean water - was responsible for the global warming that he acknowledges has taken place.

However, he said, that same cycle meant a period of cooling would begin soon and last for several years

...

He cited statistics showing there were 101 hurricanes from 1900 to 1949, in a period of cooler global temperatures, compared to 83 from 1957 to 2006 when the earth warmed.

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Nobody's "Perfect"

Ann Coulter is her own worst enemy.

Being denounced by such lightweights as Keith Olbermann or Al Franken, who seem most pissed off at the volume of her book sales, generally helps to solidify her popularity (and sell even more books).

But for every one of her smart, funny comments, she utters an unnecessarily obnoxious or just plain stupid one.

Last week she went on Donny Deutsch's "The Big Idea" and made an off the cuff remark pitting Christianity against Judaism: (link)

DEUTSCH: ...we should just throw Judaism away and we should all be Christians, then, or --

COULTER: Yeah.

DEUTSCH: Really?

COULTER: Well, it's a lot easier. It's kind of a fast track.

While I guess that according to Christian dogma her remake is technically accurate, she was being pretty glib about it.

DEUTSCH: Why don't I put you with the head of Iran? I mean, come on. You can't believe that.

COULTER: The head of Iran is not a Christian.

DEUTSCH: No, but in fact, "Let's wipe Israel" --

COULTER: I don't know if you've been paying attention.

DEUTSCH: "Let's wipe Israel off the earth." I mean, what, no Jews?

Now Donny's being a bit overly dramatic. It's not ipso facto anti-Semitic to believe in the New Testament. Doesn't, a believer of ANY faith think that their's is the correct one (and, by default, other faiths are incorrect)?

At this point, Coulter should have asked Deutsch, who claims to be a practicing Jew, what HE believes.

Instead, she goes on to say:

COULTER: No, we think -- we just want Jews to be perfected, as they say.

DEUTSCH: Wow, you didn't really say that, did you?

COULTER: Yes. That is what Christianity is. We believe the Old Testament, but ours is more like Federal Express...

So, does that mean being Jewish is like working for UPS?

Again, Coulter is being very flippant about it. Instead of going for laughs (and failing), she could have at least acknowledged that she understands how non-Christians may be offended by her remarks.

For his part, I think that ad man Deutsch is protesting a bit too much to drive up the ratings for his show (which are now virtually nonexistent).

Would he be so hard on Christopher Hitchens who wrote a bestselling book that blames religion as the source of ALL the world's problems?

I doubt it.

Then again, I doubt that Hitchens would sound so stupid while trying to explain his position.

Sigh. Maybe blonds ARE dumb after all (btw, I acknowledge that some may be offended by that).
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Blind Man's Bluff

(Posted as part of the Close-Up Blog-a-thon hosted at The House Next Door)

Whenever I'm pressed to pick what I think is the ONE best movie of all time, I invariably say Alfred Hitchcock's 1963 classic "The Birds."

For my money, Lydia Brenner (Jessica Tandy) discovering the eye-pecked body of Dan Fawcett is one of the most memorable scenes in all of cinema.

YouTube clip

This small moment is every bit as gripping as the elaborately staged gas station fire/attack scene and Melanie's final violent encounter with the title characters in the attic.

No sound or music. Tandy doesn't even scream audibly.

Instead of a zooming in on the gruesome corpse, Hitchcock chose a series of three quick cuts, each getting closer to the body until it's just a head shot.

According to Peter Bogdanovich, Hitchcock did this to simulate Lydia's point of view as she suddenly realizes what she's seeing.

This also made the scene easier to edit in case it didn't pass muster with the film standards board.

Hitchcock wasn't one for gratuitous gore. He claims he shot Psycho in black and white because of the carnage during the shower scene (sure, it was cheaper too).

So, one has to assume that the discovery of Dan Fawcett with no eyes isn't just for effect.

As noted by Camille Paglia, "The Birds" is essentially about "a war between nature and culture, with the irrational and primitive vanquishing human illusions."

I think poor old Dan represents the blindness of the main characters to reality in both their personal lives and the world in general. Society has lived in an artificial cocoon of it's own creation called "civilization" for so long that it's oblivious to (or simply ignores) the true nature of things.

In a restaurant just before the gas station attack, three symbols of civilization: religion (the old drunk at the end of the bar spouting Bible verses), science (the ornithologist lady with the beret and an air of superiority) and commerce (the black suited businessman who's got his own problems and can't be bothered) discuss their theories as to why birds have suddenly gone on the warpath and what can be done about it.

None of them seem to have a clue. Interestingly, the old drunk comes the closest when he says "it's the end of the world." But people have stopped taking him seriously a long time ago.

After all she's been through, at the end of the film Melanie is still deluding herself. Cut up both physically and emotionally from the bird assault in the attic, the expression on her face as she looks up at Mitch's mother, Lydia, suggests a sincere belief that she has finally discovered a suitable surrogate for her own long lost mother.

Lydia's reaction (beautifully portrayed by Jessica Tandy) is appropriately sympathetic. But it's clear that, even now, she's no more attached to Melanie than any of the other women (or "birds" in English vernacular) who Mitch has brought home.

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What a Weiner

Talk about biting the hand that feeds you.

Matthew Weiner, who's made a VERY good living off of commericial television (Sopranos and Mad Men) says he gets "angry" when he see's product placements.

Then he states flat out that because of DVRs a good percentage of the audience probably isn't watching the ads anyway.

Then where does he think the money that pays his huge salary comes from?

From Ad Age:

For the season finale of "Mad Men," Rainbow Media's AMC will create a tailored opening that credits DirecTV as the sole sponsor of the commercial-free episode. And though it's a show about advertising, creator Matthew Weiner has taken an arms-length approach to ads and product placement. "People hate product placement," he said. "I find it to be an insulting thing to see advertising in the middle of the shows. I can see it, I can smell it and it makes me angry. But to do a show about an advertising agency without products or to do a show that's about real life where you don't see the products -- where people are pouring milk out of a plain-wrapped package -- that's even more embarrassing. We're creating a texture of real life." Still, he said, the strings attached to paid product placement aren't worth the trouble. And in terms of traditional advertising, a large slice of the audience watches the show on DVRs and may not watch the ads.

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And All He Got Was A Lousy Shirt

From: BBC News (link)

On This Day - October 9:
1967: Che Guevara 'shot dead' Marxist revolutionary Ernesto 'Che' Guevara has reportedly been killed during a battle between army troops and guerillas in the Bolivian jungle.

Ironically, forty years later, successful entrepreneurs are selling his likeness for twenty bucks each to young radicals who wear them as symbols of their defiance to free-market oppression.

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Seems Like Old Times

Ugh...


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Ban Water!!!

Gotta love Penn and Teller: (link)

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The Show Must Go On

Eva Nazemson, who hosts a Swedish late night game show, proves that she's a real gamer after suddenly becoming ill on the air. (link)

(not for the weak of stomach)


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Go Daddy Girlz

One of these things is not like the others,

One of these things just doesn't belong,

Can you tell which thing is not like the others

By the time I finish my song? (answer below)



Well, it's Valerie of course. I'm sorry, but if you're gonna take money to be a "Go Daddy Girl", then you better be able to take the criticism.
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Phony Outrage

I haven't listened to Rush Limbaugh in a long time. He's so predictable that I don't get too much out of his show anymore.

But, this flap over his "phony soldiers" comment is ridiculous.

Here's a Seattle Times story on one of the men who Limbaugh was referring to. (link)

Man who posed as military hero sentenced to 5 months in prison

A Tacoma man who falsely claimed he was a decorated war hero when he took the stage at demonstrations held in opposition to the U.S.'s role in Iraq was sentenced this morning to five months in prison in U.S. District Court in Seattle.

Jesse MacBeth, 23, was also sentenced to three months in a halfway house after his release and three years of probation. MacBeth claimed that he was an Army ranger who killed more than 200 people, many at close range, including some as they prayed in a mosque. He spoke at an anti-war rally in Tacoma and appeared in a 20-minute anti-war video that circulated widely on the Internet.

In reality, MacBeth made it through only six weeks of Army basic training and never set foot in Iraq...

Sure sounds phony to me.
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Hate Him If You Want To...

Great comments from Toby Keith regarding "Love Me If You Can," one of the songs from his new album "Big Dog Daddy." (link)

...I get roped into these political arguments, but the truth is I don't see things right or left, I see them right or wrong. If you put check boxes on the left and right for all the big issues, my list will go back and forth all the way down. But all I have to do is disagree with a hardcore, far left liberal on one thing and they just mark me down with all the boxes on the right. And it's pretty much the same thing on the other side.

That song says exactly how I feel about myself in the world. I have to deal with other celebrities assuming all my marks are in one column, and all it shows me is that most of those people are very uneducated. For instance, Sean Penn was accepting a humanitarian award from a freedom of speech organization recently and said Sean Hannity, Bill O'Reilly and Toby Keith should be held accountable now that the Iraq war has gone astray. He's lumping me in with these guys when my song clearly, word for word, indicated my support for the invasion of Afghanistan.

Now the difference between me and Sean Penn is that I've talked to 50 generals. I doubt he's even talked to one. I didn't support the war in Iraq and still don't, but I'm sure I know more about it than he does. When he and Clooney get together and say we should go to Africa and stop the genocide, I'll be the one over there performing for the troops when it happens...

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Blown Away

I'm sure other businesses will be flocking to Michigan now that our income tax is going up.

I know SOMETHING had to be done, but it gets a little tiring to hear Gov. Granholm blame it all on Engler every chance she gets. Especially after what she said in 2006:

"In five years, you’re going to be blown away by the strength and diversity of Michigan’s transformed economy."

Today's Freep has a list of services to be taxed AND those that won't (link). I've included some of them below. Interestingly, legal, golf, marina, and accounting service fees WON'T be taxed (hmmmm).

Services that would be taxed:

• Astrology
• Baby shoe bronzing
• Bail bonding
• Balloon-o-grams
• Dating services
• Fortune-telling services
• Numerology services
• Palm-reading services
• Psychic services
• Singing telegrams
• Tanning
• Escort services
• Massage
• Armored cars

Services that would not be taxed (* = suspiciously omitted):

• Cable or satellite television
• Sports and concert tickets
• Vehicle repair
• Golf greens fees *
• Marina fees *
• Movies
• Legal fees *
• Accounting fees *
• Haircuts

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Da Bears?

Lions and Tigers (well, not really) and Bears....OH MY.



LIONS 3 and 1! Is it too early to quote Huey Lewis: "Do you believe in love"...?

Probably (heh heh).
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Simpsons vs. Family Guy

Here's a couple of interesting clips demonstrating how The Family Guy (second only to American Dad as the LEAST funny animated show on TV) steals material from The Simpsons (second only to South Park as the funniest animated show on TV).

Family Guy Steals From Simpsons - Part 1 of 2 (link)



Family Guy Steals From Simpsons - Part 2 of 2 (link)


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Wahhhhh

He should sue the Jets for sucking.

From 1010wins.com (link)

Jets Ticket Holder from NJ Sues Patriots and Coach Belichick

NEW YORK (AP) -- A Princeton man and Jets season-ticket holder files a class-action suit against the New England Patriots and coach Bill Belichick for "deceiving customers.'

'VIDEO: Jets Ticket Holders Sue Patriots, Belichick

Carl Mayer's suit stems from the Patriots being caught videotaping signals from Jets coaches, in violation of league rules, in New England's 38-14 season-opening win September 9.

Mayer's attorney, Bruce Afran, accused the Pats of violating "the integrity of the game." "This is a way of punishing Belichick and the Patriots.''

Mayer is seeking more than $184 million in damages for Jets ticket holders.

Belichick was fined $500,000 by the league, and the team was fined $250,000 for violating a league rule that prohibits clubs from using cameras on the sidelines for any purpose.

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Eat a Salad

Alicia Silverstone's PETA ad. And I thought vegetarians were supposed to be slim: (link).


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Screwed Again

I'll leave it up to you...

Last week's "Caption Contest" from The New Yorker : (link)


My losing entry was: "Domestic Violence."

Here are the submissions that made the cut.

• “Oh, now you want to talk, when all week it was 'Do Not Disturb'.”
  
  
• "The time is 11:59. You have one minute to check out."
  
  
• “I can fluff your pillow the easy way or the hard way.”

As usual, I don't think any of the "winners" are funny.
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Well, At Least It Was Close...

...they only lost by five touchdowns (ouch).

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Vox Pop

From MSNBC.com:
(btw, the editors should have come up with a better choice of words for the headline)

Fate of Bonds’ Historic Ball in Hands of Fans

Designer who bought No. 756 sets up online vote to pick what to do with it

Fashion designer Marc Ecko spent $752,467 to buy Barry Bonds’ record 756th home-run ball, and now he wants baseball fans everywhere to decide what to do with it.

Ecko is offering three choices: Donate it as is to the National Baseball Hall of Fame in Cooperstown, N.Y.;brand it with an asterisk and donate it to the Hall of Fame; or put it on a rocket and blast it into space.

“I wanted the ball to democratize the ball and to give the ball to the people, to give the ball to America,” Ecko told TODAY co-host Matt Lauer during an exclusive interview Monday.

Ecko set up a Web page, http://www.vote756.com/, that allows fans to vote for one of the three options. Voting ends at 11:59 p.m. EDT on Tuesday, Sept. 25, and Ecko will announce which option won exclusively on TODAY. (link)

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Juice Gone Wild

Wow.

In addition to Thomas Riccio's tape recording of O.J. Simpson's Las Vegas"break-in", there's also a video. (link)


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Aroma Tire (No Joke)

Wouldn't all that R&D have been better spent on perfecting an electric car?

KUMHO Introduces World's First "Aroma Tire"

For Select Passenger Vehicles U.S. market will carry limited inventory of orange, lavender and jasmine scents

Rancho Cucamonga, Calif. — KUMHO Tire USA, announces the introduction of the world’s first fragrance automotive tire, the ECSTA DX. The project is the “fruition” of more than a year’s worth of research and development to deliver an alluring aroma tire that replaces the normal “black rubber” smell with heat-resistant oils in the scent of lavender, and in later versions, neroli (orange) or jasmine...(link)

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What's So Confusing?

California must have the stupidest jury pool in the nation.

• Exhibit A: OJ Simpson...blood everywhere, low-speed chase, Bruno Malis - INNOCENT
  


• Exhibit B: Robert Blake...alibi for the time of his wife's shooting was that he went back to the restaurant to get his gun (that had fallen out of his pocket into the booth) - INNOCENT
  
  
• Exhibit C: Phil Spector...told chauffeur that he thinks he shot someone - HUNG JURY

Case closed.

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Why Do I Bother?

Every week the New Yorker runs a "caption the cartoon" contest (link).

Last week, they had this prehistoric scene of cavemen encountering a giant gun.


My caption submission was "Cro-Magnum Man"

However, these three made the final cut:

• "So this is what killed the dinosaurs.”


• “What did you say happened to the last tenant?”


• “We're gonna need a bigger spear.”

None of them are funnier than my entry (if I do say so myself).
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BAM!

Six more to go until I win my bet about the Lions finishing at least .500 for the season!!

Will Detroit have a love affair with Jon Kitna?

How many bad games before they throw him under the bus?
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The Emmy's

Three reasons why I'm glad I didn't watch last night's Emmy's:

• Characters from "Family Guy" (the least funny show on TV) doing a bit where they say "Scrubs" isn't funny.
  
  
• James Spader beats James Gandolfini.
  
  
• 30 Rock beats than The Office.

Who votes on these things??
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Winston Churchill Quotes

I happened upon this list of Winstin Churchill quotes (link). They hold up very well. Here are some of my favorites:

• A fanatic is one who can't change his mind and won't change the subject.
  
  


• An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.
  
  


• He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.
  
  


• Never, never, never believe any war will be smooth and easy, or that anyone who embarks on the strange voyage can measure the tides and hurricanes he will encounter. The statesman who yields to war fever must realize that once the signal is given, he is no longer the master of policy but the slave of unforeseeable and uncontrollable events.
  
  


• One ought never to turn one's back on a threatened danger and try to run away from it. If you do that, you will double the danger. But if you meet it promptly and without flinching, you will reduce the danger by half.
  
  


• Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm.

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Leave Chris Alone

Just to clear up any understandable confusion ...

The Chris Crocker (left) who made the emotional YouTube plea to "LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE" (link) is NOT the same Chris Crocker who plays safety for the Atlanta Falcons (right).

It's easy to see how someone could get the two mixed up. I hope this helps.

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The Onion on the NY Times

I got a kick out of this Onion bit on the New York Times: (link)


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The Truth Is Out There

Moose Change is a spot on parody of Loose Change, that documentary by a couple of wacko losers who claim that 9/11 was an inside job. (link)


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Another One Bites the Dust

For 2007, I'm once again making my yearly prediction that the Lions will finish the season with at least a .500 record (8 wins, 8 loses).

With Sunday's result: LIONS 36, RAIDERS 21 -- I'm on my way.

Woo hoo...only seven more to go!!

BTW, in case you missed it, I'm being sarcastic.

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That's Stupid

From AOL.com:

Paris Hilton Sues Over 'That's Hot' Card (link)

LOS ANGELES (Sept. 8) - Paris Hilton is suing over the use of her picture and catchphrase "That's hot" on a greeting card. Hilton sued Hallmark Cards Inc. in U.S. District Court seeking an injunction and unspecified damages to be determined at trial.

According to the lawsuit filed Thursday, the card is titled "Paris's First Day as a Waitress" and shows a photo of Hilton's face on a cartoon of a waitress serving a plate of food to a patron. In a dialogue bubble she says, "Don't touch that, it's hot." The customer cartoon asks, "What's hot?" She answers, "That's hot."

The suit says Hilton owns the trademark "That's hot," which was registered on Feb. 13, 2007...

Donald Trump was able to trademark "You're Fired" and Michael Buffer "Let's Get Ready to Rumble." So, I guess anthing's possible.

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iScrewed (LOL)

Ha ha ha ha ha ha

Lots of the original iPhone buyers, many who waited in line for hours last JUNE and paid $599, are now pretty miffed that Apple has dropped the price by $200.

But should they be surprised? (I'll answer that -- NO).

From Yahoo Tech: (link)
...Much of the resentment is about the way the iPhone depreciated in value in less than 67 days. Jeremy Riga says, "I am NOT angry at the $200 price drop. I'm angry that Apple has decided NOT to keep the VALUE in the iPhone (or that it wasn't there to begin with). Because as a savvy consumer I understand the difference between buying something of value, and something that is overpriced. I bought the iPhone because I was sold, at $600, on the VALUE. Now today I am finding that I was wrong - it was NOT worth $600 - it was worth $400, perhaps even less. Thus, it was overpriced and I was over-sold by someone I have trusted to sell me worthwhile, and valuable products in the past. Steve Jobs."...

Yes, Jeremy, you're sooooo "savvy." You got so hot and bothered to be the first one you your block with an iPhone that it never occurred to you that the price would drop if you just held off a little longer?

Shaddup.
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Numbers Don't Lie

Here's a story you WON'T see on "Countdown with Keith Olbermann":

1. Bill O'Reilly's ratings at 8pm consistently kick Olbermann's ass


2. Bill O'Reilly's ratings for his 11pm RERUN consistently kick Olbermann's ass

For the record, this isn't about politics for me. I thought that Olbermann was a mediocre jackass way back when he was on ESPN.

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Maybe ABC Already Has Enough Money

I hate "vast Left-wing" conspiracy theories, but this is curious given that a DVD release tied into the sixth anniversary of 9/11, would make millions.

Is Clinton's candidacy blocking 'Path to 9/11'? (link)

Screenwriter of docudrama says ABC exec said delay has been prompted by unflattering portrayal of previous administration.

By Martin Miller
Los Angeles Times Staff Writer

September 5, 2007

Among the nearly two dozen television DVDs slated for nationwide release on Sept. 11 is the second season of "Bones," the third season of "Grey's Anatomy" and the miniseries "The Starter Wife" that aired earlier this year. Not on the list on that day or any other in the near future is last year's highly controversial "The Path to 9/11."

The $40-million, five-hour ABC miniseries, which recently received seven Emmy nominations and drew a combined two-night audience of more than 25 million viewers, is for now on the path to nowhere. Its Amazon page reads: "Currently unavailable. We don't know when or if this item will be back in stock."

With no date for the release, questions are being raised about whether political pressure is behind its current status as a stalled or discarded DVD project. The reasons are murky, but the miniseries' writer, Cyrus Nowrasteh, believes it's crystal clear: Powerful forces are out to protect Bill Clinton's presidential legacy and shield Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton (D-N.Y.) from any potential collateral damage in her bid for the White House.

Nowrasteh, also one of the miniseries' many producers, said he was told by a top executive at ABC Studios that "if Hillary weren't running for president, this wouldn't be a problem."
...

Initially, Nowrasteh was told by executives at ABC Studios that the miniseries would have a DVD release in January. Then, April. Then, this summer. Currently, Nowrasteh has not been notified of a specific release date for the DVD.

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Mr. Bookman (Seinfeld)

To honor the start of school, here's one of Seinfeld's funniest bits: (link)


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Stop the Presses!!!

Gambling at Rick's...? I'm shocked, shocked!

Study: Men go for good looks (link)

By RANDOLPH E. SCHMID, AP Science Writer
Mon Sep 3, 5:30 PM ET

WASHINGTON - Science is confirming what most women know: When given the choice for a mate, men go for good looks.

And guys won't be surprised to learn that women are much choosier about partners than they are....

...Their study involved 26 men and 20 women in Munich, Germany.

Participants ranged in age from 26 to their early 40s and took part in "speed dating," short meetings of three to seven minutes in which people chat, then move on to meet another dater. Afterward, participants check off the people they'd like to meet again, and dates can be arranged between pairs who select one another.

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Insult to Injury

I hate to pile on, but this pic from the Freep of Appalachian State fans in their "Michigan Who" shirts was pretty funny (link).

No website selling them (yet).



BTW, is that guy on the far right Jack Black?
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The End of Iraq

From Publishers Weekly:

Galbraith, a leading commentator on Iraq thanks to his recent articles in the New York Review of Books, presents a clear-eyed and persuasive case against the Bush administration's nation-building project there. As a former U.S. diplomat with long experience in Iraq, he offers an insider's view of the American occupation's failures—the poor preparation for post-invasion chaos, the cluelessness about Iraqi politics, the incompetence and corruption of the occupation authority—while advancing a deeper critique...

...Deeply skeptical of attempts to reunify the Iraqi state, he proposes that the U.S. withdraw from Arab Iraq and "facilitate an amicable divorce" between the fractious sections. Galbraith advised the Iraqi Kurds during recent constitutional negotiations and is palpably sympathetic to their national aspirations; his argument sometimes feels like a brief for Kurdish separatism...

Galbraith is pretty damning in his description of the Bush Administration's lack of readiness to take on the Iraq war. For instance, he relates (second handedly) an account of a discussion between President Bush and some Iraqi leaders where Bush didn't seem to realize that Iraq is made up of Kurds, Shiites and Sunnis.

Also, Galbraith lists many of the U.S. adminstrators who were selected for important posts in Iraq after the invasion based upon patronage and neopotism rather than knowledge and experience.
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