Saturday, June 30, 2007

...And He's Fat

The Star, a liberal Canadian paper no less, trashes Moore's latest flick, Sicko (link):

(Moore) sparks valuable debate about such serious issues as gun abuse, politicized terror and corporate chicanery, yet he does so with little regard to factual accuracy or even simple fairness. He is a crusader without conscience.
...
Sicko is also completely lacking in journalistic rigour, presenting only the negatives of for-profit U.S. health care and only the positives of the government-run Canadian, British, French and Cuban Medicare programs. As always, Moore makes unsupported assertions and uses out-of-context edits. The film is not a documentary, if that term is to mean anything more than unvarnished propaganda.
...
many other sad and shocking stories are contrasted with scenes of the enlightened Utopias in other countries, where Medicare is "free" – if you ignore the fact, as Moore does, that high taxes and long wait times pay for that "free" care.
...
Moore interviews the pediatrician daughter of late Cuban revolutionary Che Guevara, who tells us that communism is better than capitalism.

Gosh, who could argue with such impartial counsel? Maybe the many Cubans who each year try to flee the island to become American citizens? Such things, as usual, don't trouble Moore. Nor does it seem to occur to him that if Guantanamo were to deny health care to its prisoners, the U.S. would be in violation of international law and basic human rights.
The good news is that I think Moore is finally, and deservedly, getting marginalized as most people get that he unfairly stacks the deck in his films.
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Separated At Birth?

The Hillary Clinton cover from latest issue of Fortune reminded me of the stepmother from Cinderella.


Before anyone accuses me of picking on her, the last "separated" photos I passed along were of Mary Cheney and Phil Spector (link).

Interestingly, the "International" edition of Fortune has the shot cropped so that Hillary's face takes up more of the cover.

Yikes!


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Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Leave the Gun, Take The Onions

This is funny (BTW, it's a parody NOT a real news story)...

From The Onion (full "article" here - link)...

James Gandolfini Shot By Closure-Seeking Fan

NEW YORK—Actor James Gandolfini, best known for his portrayal of mob kingpin Tony Soprano on the hit HBO show The Sopranos, was shot to death Tuesday in a Greenwich Village restaurant by a fan unable to accept the open-ended conclusion of the series finale that aired earlier this month.

According to police reports, 28-year-old marketing research assistant Louis Bowen walked into the small Italian restaurant Occhiuto's at approximately 7:40 p.m. and headed directly toward Gandolfini's table. Bowen then drew a snub-nosed .38 revolver from his jacket and shot Gandolfini point-blank in the head three times before dropping the gun and calmly exiting the eatery.

Bowen was apprehended two blocks away by two NYPD officers and reportedly put up no resistance.

"I couldn't let it just hang," Bowen told police in a post-arrest confession released to the media. "Eight years of my life, and a fucking artsy cut to black? It was eating me up inside."
...

In a late-night City Hall press conference, New York mayor Michael Bloomberg refused to comment on the killing.

"No, no, don't tell me what happened," said Bloomberg, hastily plugging his ears. "I TiVo'ed the last six episodes but I've been too busy to watch them. No spoilers, please."


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Pretty and PETA

An anxious world need wait no longer as the "World’s Sexiest Vegetarian Celebrities" list is finally out. (link)

Apparently, vegetarian's set the bar for "sexy" pretty low as witnessed by some of those who made it.

Women

  • Alicia Silverstone
  • Chelsea Clinton
  • Chrissie Hynde
  • Daryl Hannah
  • Grace Slick
  • Linda Blair
  • Mary Tyler Moore
  • Tatum O’Neal

Men:

  • Bob Barker
  • Casey Kasem
  • Corey Feldman
  • Dennis Kucinich
  • Dick Gregory
  • Forest Whitaker
  • G. Gordon Liddy
  • James Cromwell
  • Leonard Nimoy
  • Little Richard
  • Weird Al Yankovic

To be fair, Natalie Portman made the list.


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Friday, June 22, 2007

Only the Lonely

From BBC News: (link)

The European Space Agency (Esa) is seeking volunteers for a simulated human trip to Mars, in which six crew spend 17 months in an isolation tank.

They will live and work in a series of interlocked modules at a research institute in Moscow. Once the hatches are closed, the crew's only contact with the outside world is a radio link to "Earth" with a realistic delay of many minutes.
...
The goal is to gain insight into human behaviour and group dynamics under the kinds of conditions astronauts would experience on a journey to Mars.
...
With the exception of weightlessness and radiation, the crew will experience most other aspects of long-haul space travel, such as cramped conditions, a high workload, lack of privacy, and limited supplies.

Of course, they could save a lot of time and money by just having the volunteers watch a marathon of "The Closer." I'm pretty sure that would have the same results as 17 months in isolation. Come to think of it, this could also work well at Gitmo.


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Thursday, June 21, 2007

What About Rosie?

From the AP (link):
"The Price Is Right" needs a host, and Rosie O'Donnell is interested. Very interested. The 45-year-old said on her blog recently that she was meeting with the "Price" people this week and that she "sure would" accept the job if they offer.
Her qualifications include:
  • an overinflated sense of her own talent
  • mean and nasty
  • a propensity for hitting on hot models
I think she'd be the perfect choice to follow in that jackass Bob Barker's footsteps.
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Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Ba-Da Boom

Upon a second viewing of The Sopranos finale, I'm more convinced than ever that the "Members Only" guy is NOT a hit man, and it's the viewer who's getting whacked at the blackout.

The title, "Made in America", is a common phrase that's becoming an anachronism (certainly in David Chase's universe). What the wise guys call "this thing of our's" is running against the current trend of America's zeitgeist (as witnessed by the shrinking of Little Italy shown early in the episode).

Vehicles, often characterized by their country of origin, play a very visible role in "Made in America."

  • Phil's head is crushed by what is prominently shown to be a Ford

  • Meadow, a recently recruited junior member of Tony's "thing," has problems parking her foreign car.

  • AJ, who is NOT yet on board (he only wants to be in show business), darts easily around in his BMW and effortlessly parallel parks to pick up his hot new girlfriend.
Which leads to the blackout ending. Both "made" (the "Member's Only" guy) and "America" (the fat guy in the USA cap drinking coffee with multiple creams and lots of sugar) are there simply as symbols of foreboding, NOT actual physical threats to Tony (not yet anyway). He’ll forever have to be on the alert (as he demonstrates in the booth while trying to talk to his wife and AJ).

We the viewer, only vicarious members of Tony's club, will not be around to see these forces play out.

BTW, it seems like the people whining about all the "symbolism" in the last Sopranos episode are the same ones who spend HOURS analyzing every f'n episode of Lost.
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Monday, June 11, 2007

Fo-get Abowt It (Spoiler)

Wow...lots of whining today about last night's The Sopranos finale.

I actually liked it.

It wasn't the typical last episode that was neatly constructed and spoon fed the audience a clear conclusion. This ending was totally consistent with how the show has been handled for six seasons. The ambiguity didn't bug me at all. I think a Scarface type gun-fest ending would have a let down.

Two theories as to what happened at the black out (which I'm pretty sure meant someone got clipped because, as Tony once said, "you never see it coming"):
  1. Tony gets whacked
  2. The audience gets whacked (by the show's ending).

I think the latter.

David Chase LOVES messing with his audience -- almost to the point of contentiousness. For instance, twice this season a crowd of people were shown witnessing a "hit." Both times it seemed to be a knock on Sopranos fans as Mafia voyeurs and wannabes.

Chase was upset that he couldn't end the show at five seasons when he tried to. So, he whacked us as punishment.

Great stuff.

BTW, if you want a shoot-em-up ending that wraps things up, get over it and rent Smoking Aces.
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Sunday, June 10, 2007

"Quality Is Job One" or Number Two?

Two views on quality at Ford Motor Company.

First, the J.D Powers Report: (link)

Ford Motor Co., including Mazda Motor Corp., won five model segments, more than any other automaker, as it gained ground on the foreign automakers in the 2007 J.D. Power and Associates Initial Quality Study released Tuesday.
. . .
The study, a widely regarded industry standard for new-car quality, surveys customers on defects and design problems they have found after 90 days of ownership.
Or, the "POS Test": From the Urban Dictionary

The "Piece of Shit" Test
When one takes the name of a piece of hardware or software (or anything else, for that matter) and runs it through http://www.google.com/ with "+ piece of shit" added to the end. An excellent way of testing the reliability/worthiness of your chosen product.

In other words, a relative measure of quality based on a count of how many times the Internet contains the name of a particular product AND the phrase "piece of shit."

  • 1,020,000 for "ford + piece of shit"
  • 416,000 for "gm + piece of shit"
  • 396,000 for "honda + piece of shit"
  • 326,000 for "toyota + piece of shit"
  • 158,000 for "chrysler + piece of shit"

No, I'm not still bitter over the transmission problems I had with my '92 Tempo.


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Saturday, June 09, 2007

London Calling

A true story worthy of The Onion regarding claims that the logo for the 2012 Olympics is causing epileptic fits (link):

A segment of animated footage promoting the 2012 Olympics has been removed from the organisers' website after fears it could trigger epileptic seizures.
And migranes (link):

The controversial 2012 Olympics logo ran into more trouble today as it emerged that a video promoting it had triggered migraines and epileptic fits.
I guess that means Mary Hart won't be doing any Olympic coverage (link).
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Wednesday, June 06, 2007

Losers...Come on Down!!

I wonder which fans are more "fanatical" -- Stars Wars people waiting in line for tickets to the next installment or die-hard Bob Barker fans in sleeping bags outside of the Price is Right studio. (link)

Philip Barrett, 24, of Tampa, Fla., had camped outside the studios since Saturday to see Barker tape his last show Wednesday afternoon.

"This is the chance of a lifetime," he said.

Melanie Zepeda Velez, 32, traveled from Alberta, Canada. "I'm here because I need to kiss Bob," she said.

Fans hoped for a chance to bid on prizes, but mostly they came to bid farewell.

Barrett had to hear Barker say it one last time. "I get teary-eyed just thinking about it," he said.

. . .

"I'd rather win a couch from Bob Barker than a million dollars from Howie Mandel," host of NBC's "Deal or No Deal," said Mark Dub, a NASA engineer who flew from Houston for the final show. "He's part of American culture."

I hope they apply Bob's trademark close for each show, "Have your pets spayed and neutered," to themselves as well.

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Thursday, May 31, 2007

Surf's Up Jackass

Proving yet again that marketing people aren't the brightest bulbs on the marquee: (link)
...To promote the upcoming film "Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer," 20th Century Fox and The Franklin Mint altered 40,000 U.S. quarters to feature the character.

The U.S. Mint said in a news release Friday that it learned of the promotional quarter this week and advised the studio and The Franklin Mint they were breaking the law. It is illegal to turn a coin into an advertising vehicle, and violators can face a fine.

The federal mint did not say whether the studio or the private Franklin Mint would face a penalty.

The altered coins are quarters honoring the state of California that entered circulation in 2005. They feature George Washington on the front, but a colorized version of the character on the back. All 40,000 were slated to be in circulation throughout the country this week, and about 800 were released in each state.
I personally love the Franklin Mint's statement on this:
The Franklin Mint mainly produces collectibles or commemorative medallions. Unlike its other commemorative coins, these aren't being sold, said Franklin chairman Moshe Malamud. He said putting the character on the coin didn't alter the integrity of the coin.
You mean to tell me that it didn't occur to anyone that this would be a problem. Doesn't the Franklin Mint have a legal department?
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Monday, May 28, 2007

I Spit on Google

Once again, Google DIDN'T run a special image on their homepage in honor of Memorial Day today.

This seems like a strange sort of slight (almost un-American), because, apparently, they'll run a special "Google" graphic for almost anything.

Here's a few examples for 2007...

Valentine's Day:


Earth Day:


This year they even celebrated Yuri Gagarin as the "First Man in Space":


But NOTHING for Memorial Day. What gives?

A 2006 article from WorldNetDaily may provide somewhat of an answer - and to be fair, this is a conservative site I found through a Google search (link):

...for the 8th year in a row, Google has made no effort to commemorate any holiday honoring U.S. veterans or war dead – no tributes to Veterans Day or Memorial Day.

Google's holiday signature is a dressed-up corporate logo for major holidays and lesser-known occasions alike. Besides overlooking Veterans Day and Memorial Day since the company's inception in 1999, it has also ignored Christmas and Easter. Interestingly, Google for Canada honors Rememberance Day, the Canadian version of the U.S. Veterans Day.

Google has been criticized for its one-sided political contributions and content policies:

  • Rejecting an ad for a book critical of Bill and Hillary Clinton while continuing to accept anti-Bush themes
  • Rejecting ads critical of Rep. Nancy Pelosi, D-Calif., while continuing to run attack ads against besieged House Majority Leader Tom DeLay, R-Texas.
  • Allowing the communist Chinese government to have the search engine block "objectionable" search terms such as "democracy."

In addition, the company came under fire for an editorial decision giving preferential placement to large, elite media outlets such as CNN and the BBC over independent news sources, such as WND, even if they are more recent, pertinent and exhaustive in their coverage.

As WND reported, 98 percent of all political donations by Google employees went to support Democrats, and as a matter of fact, Al Gore is now a senior adviser to Google.

Google CEO Eric Schmidt gave the maximum legal limit of donations to Democratic presidential nominee Sen. John Kerry and to primary candidate Howard Dean.

Memorial Day is NOT a "conservative" holiday and for Google to ignore it out of some misguided internal political philosophy is laughable (and deserving of a bitch-smack).
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Sunday, May 27, 2007

My Big Fat Greek Lawsuit

Film producer, David E. Kronemyer, alledged that he was not given full credit for his involvement in the films My Big Fat Greek Wedding, Wishcraft and Stand and be Counted.

Failing to get relief from the studios that produced the movies, he sued IMDb (link) to have his name added to their listings (what a jackass).

Thankfully, the case of Kronemyer v. Internet Movie Data Base (link) went up in flames like a plate of saganaki.
...IMDd asserted that its policy, which appears on the Web site, is that, “with a few exceptions,” credits are listed “exactly as they appear on screen.” The site has a procedure for submission of corrections, which Kronemyer said he availed himself of, but the company says it reserves the right to “reject/delete information at any time for any reason, especially if [IMDb is] unable to verify it. IMDb said that Kronemyer is not credited with the three productions in question because his name does not appear in the credits.
The court ruled that Kronemyer:

...presented no evidence at all as to two of the productions, and his evidence as to “My Big Fat Greek Wedding” was weak.

Kronemyer “attached two documents to his declaration purporting to identify him as an executive producer,” the presiding justice explained. “The first is a ‘Loan and Security Agreement’ dated September 2000 between Big Wedding LLC and The Lewis Horowitz Organization. Page 30 of that document states that the movie would be executive produced by appellant and others. This does not establish that appellant was entitled to be listed as an executive producer on the finished film.”

In addition to NOT getting his name listed on the site, Kronemyer will have to pay IMDb more than $6,000 in attorney fees, plus costs.

O-PA.
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Saturday, May 26, 2007

Happy 100 Duke!

John Wayne's ten best movies:
  • The Searchers
  • Red River
  • The Quiet Man
  • Rio Grande
  • Fort Apache
  • True Grit
  • In Harm's Way
  • The War Wagon
  • The Man Who Shot Liberty Valence
  • Donovan's Reef

John Wayne's ten worst movies:

  • Rio Lobo
  • Big Jim McLain
  • Blood Alley
  • Chisum
  • Jet Pilot
  • The Conqueror
  • Circus World
  • The Train Robbers
  • McQ
  • Legend of the Lost

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Friday, May 25, 2007

Rambo is from Mars, Jerry Maguire is from Venus

From a United Press International story (my comments in italics):

Study: 'Chick flicks' also enjoyed by men

A U.S. study suggests, common stereotypes to the contrary, "chick flicks" aren't just for women -- guys also like romantic movies.

No, they don't.

Kansas State University psychology Professor Richard Harris said his research produced surprising results.

"Everyone thinks women like romantic movies and they drag guys along to them," he said.

"What was significant was that the guys also liked the movies, and that the choice to view a romantic movie was usually made together as a couple, not just by the girl."

I hate to burst the researcher's bubble, but a guy will sit through (and pretend to enjoy) Steel Magnolias if he thinks it will help him score.

Although both men and women generalized men as a group wouldn't like a romantic movie, when men rated a romantic flick they had just seen, they gave it a 4.8 on a 7-point scale. When women were asked to rate how much their dates liked the movie, they gave the same 4.8 rating.

Where did do this research -- Starbucks?
The results of the study could be something moviemakers should take into consideration when making a romantic movie, Harris said.

"There are a lot of men who go to these romantic movies and enjoy them," he said. "I wouldn't write off the male audience just because it is a romantic film. I would suggest marketing to the men in the audience."

I would suggest more explosions.
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Thursday, May 24, 2007

Team of Destiny (2nd Try)

I'm predicting Ottawa in FIVE over Anaheim for this year's Stanley Cup Finals.
  1. As posted earlier (link), the winning team is either the Red Wings OR a Canadian team for years that end in "7." It's 2007 and the Wings have been eliminated. Do the math.

  2. Last night a Coke machine robbed me of 2 dollars. The machine number was "25275." Since Ottawa is my "2nd" choice and the year ends in "7," this leaves "5" as the number of games it will take.

  3. The "Ducks" is a stupid name for an NHL hockey team and should NEVER be engraved on the Stanley Cup.
Perfectly reasonable.
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Wednesday, May 23, 2007

The BEST Bond Movie Ever

I just happened upon this column about 1969's On Her Majesty's Secret Service (link), which, if I HAD to pick one, was the very best Bond movie ever made.

BTW, it DOESN'T star Sean Connery.

From: The Revolutionary James Bond Movie, by Robert Castle (link):

...It relies on action and not action devices to generate excitement. Gone are the Aston-Martin death machine, the miniature helicopters, and the rocket backpack. Also absent is a slow, uninvolving sequence like the underwater battle in Thunderball. The Bond Movie returns to James Bond. The superhero does not need superfluous technology

...perhaps On Her Majesty’s Secret Service’s most revolutionary move not only returned Bond to his own devices but followed Fleming’s novel very closely, part of the process mentioned earlier of returning the series to James Bond.
If you've never seen it, it's well worth the rental fee (in "Letterbox", of course).
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Saturday, May 19, 2007

Ho's for Hillary

Perfect. Porn star Jenna Jameson supports Hillary Clinton for president. See if you can catch the double entendre at the end of this quote from Jameson's interview with PR.Com (link)
PR.com: "Do you find that the climate of the adult industry changes when there is a Republican administration versus Democratic?"

Jenna Jameson: "Absolutely. The Clinton administration was the best years for the adult industry and I wish that Clinton would run again. I would love to have him back in office. I would love to have Al Gore in office. When Republicans are in office, the problem is, a lot of times they try to put their crosshairs on the adult industry, to make a point."

"It's sad, when there are so many different things that are going on in the world: war, and people are dying of genocide...I look forward to another Democrat being in office. It just makes the climate so much better for us, and I know that once all our troops come home, things are going to be better and I think that getting Bush out of office is the most important thing right now."
Tee hee.

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Friday, May 18, 2007

Moore Gets Smoked

Proving that not ALL fat people are jolly, Michael Moore, apparently still stinging from Fred Thompson's criticism of his trip to Cuba, lashed back at Thompson (link) by complaining about the former Senator's taste for Cuban cigars --- (well, they ARE the best).

"I was struck by the fact that your concerns (including comments about Castro’s reported financial worth) apparently do not extend to your own conduct," Moore wrote in a letter sent to Thompson dated Tuesday.

In light of your comments regarding Cuba and Castro, do you think the 'box upon box of cigars — Montecristos from Havana' that you have in your office have contributed to Castro’s reported wealth?"
Moore went on to challenge Thompson to a "health care" debate.

In a video response taped at this office, Thompson declined while conspicuoulsy and hiliariously sporting a "see-gar" of unspecified origins (link).

Thompson, cigar in hand, says that he doesn't have time in his schedule to debate Moore, but he may be the least of Moore's problems. The potential 2008 presidential candidate suggests Moore inquire of Cuban dictator Fidel Castro about documentary filmmaker Nicolás Guillén Landrián, who was tortured by Castro's henchman because of his film.

"He did something Castro didn't like and they put him in a mental institution for several years, giving him devastating electroshock treatments. A mental institution, Michael, it might be something you ought to think about," Thompson says.

Kick his ass Fred.

The video can be viewed at: http://www.breitbart.tv/?p=611

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