Friday, April 30, 2010

Say "Mommie"

I'm posting this classic ESPN "SportsCenter" ad featuring Gordie Howe as a display solidarity for the Detroit Red Wings who lost to the Sharks last night. I forgot that Keith Olbermann was Mr. Hockey's victim. BONUS!

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Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Not So Fab

In retrospect, I suppose my entry for the 236th New Yorker "Caption Contest" was too clever by half.

I was doing a take that old Beatles classic "I Am The Walrus" which doesn't seem all that funny now:

"Goo goo ga joob" my eye. You knew I was saving those eggs for the party tonight.
The winners were all better:
  • “Dr. Ogden just called to say your mercury levels are on the high side.”

  • “Did you put 3,250 pounds of 'fresh mackerel' on my credit card?” - my favorite

  • “Those buckets of fish heads aren't going to take themselves out.”

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Thursday, April 22, 2010

Ear Flaps Sold Separately

At first I thought this new "portable" internet device being touted on was a joke. But the ASUS EeeKeyboard seems a real soon-to-be-released product. But I think they need to go back to the drawing board as even the name sounds cumbersome. I like "eBoard" myself.

The Anti-iPad

It’s portable in so far as you can move around one room with it. Instead of no keyboard, it’s pretty much all keyboard. It runs windows, and it definitely can’t be used ostentatiously to look cool in an overpriced coffee shop. Why get it?

Because in this uncertain time of the melding of the medias at a time when you can access Break Media Network content on your phones, televisions, iPads, and even on city busses in Los Angeles, everybody is clambering to be the all-in-one media device. And, frankly, the iPad is close, but if you want something to simply run in your living room, the ASUS EeeKeyboard is the ticket. It is, as yet, unreleased, but will sell for $600.

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Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Duplicitous Behavior

I guess that's what you get for doing personal stuff at work.

Watch CBS News Videos Online
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Drinking and Texting Don't Mix

This is either the biggest R&D blunder since New Coke or the greatest public relations coup since New Coke (or both).

From ABC News:

Dude, Where's My Top Secret Next-Generation IPhone?

Apple Engineer Who Misplaced iPhone Prototype Was Distraught, Witnesses Say

...[Gary] Powell was celebrating his birthday at this German beer garden and left his phone at the bar.

MaryAnne Staudt, who co-owns the bar, said that Powell was upset when he returned and attempted to recover the phone and doesn't believe that it was a publicity stunt done by Apple. Staudt said she felt badly about the situation and for Powell.

His last Facebook update before he lost his phone read "I underestimated how good German beer is," which he typed from his secret iPhone, according to Gizmodo, who obtained it for $5,000 from a patron who found the device.

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Monday, April 19, 2010

The Unusual Suspects

This week I felt victimized by the 235th New Yorker "Cartoon Caption" contest.

My entry was:

"Number five please take off your cap."

I humbly submit that this captured the aburdity of the situation depicted in the cartoon better than ANY of the finalists listed below.

  • "I'm six feet tall if I stand on my toes." - I don't think that any of the five are supposed to be talking. But even if I grant that the girl is the one speaking (I guess she could be), her comment is, at best, mediocre.

  • "O.K., now we'd like to see No. 4 in the tutu." - why?

  • "These were winnowed down from a group of thirty-seven using DNA testing." - did the New Yorker judges REALLY laugh at this?

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Saturday, April 17, 2010

Email Extractions Made Easy

I tried out this neat tool the other day: Digeus Jet Email Extractor. It lets me generate targeted email lists pulled from different news servers (which is next to impossible to do manually).

According to the Digeus website, Jet Email Extractor:
  • Captures email addresses at very high speed. Multithreaded. Average speed is 100,000 emails per hour!

  • Extracts not only user's email but also name for personalized emailings

  • Automatically removes duplicate and incorrect email addresses

  • Extraction is strongly targeted to specific audience (choose audience by selecting target-related news groups);

  • Exports the results into text file (mailing list)

My inner geek was very impressed.

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Friday, April 16, 2010

He Couldn't Crack 80

Unless they grading on a curve at MSU, this guy only gets a "C."


Thong Thief Arrested at Michigan State

Michigan State University police say they have arrested a man who stole 79 pairs of women's underwear from the laundry rooms of the school's dorms.

Officers have been able to trace one of the thefts to the laundry room in West Akers Hall. It reportedly happened in mid-March.

In that case, officers say, the 19-year-old suspect stole 15 pairs of underwear from the laundry room. A witness reportedly saw him stealing the underwear and called police. Officers also used the dorm's surveillance cameras to identify the suspect.

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Thursday, April 15, 2010

Pointless Wireless

I'm not ready for a "hotspot" in my bathroom.

From CNN:

Why games will take over our lives

If you think an electric toothbrush is high-tech, wait until you hear about the Internet-enabled version.

Jesse Schell, a game designer and Carnegie Mellon University professor, says toothbrushes will be hooked-up with Wi-Fi Internet connections within five years.

The point? If the entire Internet knows how often you brush your teeth and for how long, there's an incentive to brush more often.

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Bad Vibrations?

It's what I'd call a "feature."

From The Huffington Post:
Amanda Flowers Claims Wii Fit Injury Made Her A Sex Addict

Amanda Flowers, a 24-year-old from Manchester, claims that a Wii Fit injury has turned her into a sex addict.

After falling from her Wii Fit board, Flowers reports that even minor vibrations--such as from a food processor, she says-- "turns her on." She was told by a doctor that she had suffered a damaged nerve that has provoked "persistent sexual arousal syndrome."

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Time's Up!

In case anyone forgot:

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Tuesday, April 13, 2010


Looks like I've found a use for old 33s.

one or more persons obscuring or augmenting any part of their body or bodies with record sleeve(s) causing an illusion.


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Saturday, April 10, 2010

Facebook the Nation

This piece over at nails it. While funny, it does strike a little too close to home for my inner troll. Let he or she who is without sin cast the first stone (dammit).


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Friday, April 09, 2010

Jobbed Out

And you thought Bill Gates played rough.


Apple Products Can't Run Flash

The comments have been posed by Adobe that Apple’s refusal to run Adobe Flash on
it’s various products could drastically hurt the company. These comments were brought about in an official quarterly review filed with the U.S. Securities and Exchanges Commission on Friday, April 9, 2010. Adobe believes that with Apple’s refusal to run Adobe Flash, it makes it more difficult for Adobe products to perform and Adobe customers are then forced to try alternative technologies which they may not be familiar with.

It has been reported that Steve Jobs, Apple CEO, has described Adobe Flash as buggy and a memory blog. Almost three quarters of the videos on the worldwide web use Adobe Flash, so this statement doesn’t seem to be very accurate.

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Tuesday, April 06, 2010

iPlanned Obsolescence

Here's one way to burn through five hundred dollars in two minutes.

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Sunday, April 04, 2010

Expendable Income

Guess which movie gets my 2010 action/adventure film dollar:

a. The "A-Team" remake
b. The Expendables" starring a real "A" team

(answer: b)

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Saturday, April 03, 2010

Future Shock

This 1969 speculation on is prescient from a technological standpoint. But, it falls short in its social predictions.

Notice how upset the husband (played by Wink Martindale of all people) looks when he sees how much his wife is spending. Of course, in the real world, it's probably the wife who gets annoyed when she finds out how much her husband spends on Internet porn.

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Friday, April 02, 2010

Print The Legend

Near the end of the 1970 bio-pic Patton, released in the U.S. 40 years ago today, the larger-than-life title character, Gen. George S. Patton, Jr., is shown having his likeness captured on canvas. The painting session is interrupted when the volatile old cavalryman has a heated phone call with a superior where he loudly declares that the large American troop presence in Germany should be used to take on their next military adversary, the Russians. Flabbergasted, the higher-ranking general on the other end of the line slams down the receiver exclaiming, “You’re mad!” Patton sends the artist away declaring that no one will be interested in a portrait of a madman.

I’ve often thought that the filmmakers staged this scene as a subtle commentary on their own approach in bringing Patton’s story to the big screen.

Full post at Edward Copeland on Film
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