Mobbed Up

The winners of The New Yorker "Cartoon Contest #177" must have had paid somebody off.



I thought my entry was pretty good:

"No buttinsky customs agent is gonna nail ME on a metric system rap. "

The finalists had all the appeal of The Godfather III (in other words, they sucked):

• "It's sloppy work like that that gives the mob a bad name." - mediocre
  
  
• "We are trying to reduce our concrete footprint." - lame
  
  
• "Two weeks ago, this was not considered torture." - fogetaboutit

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The United Kingdom's New School Dress Code

When you outlaw screwdrivers, hammers and chisels, only electricians, carpenters and sculptors will have them.

From Metro.co.uk:

Children 'wearing stab vests to school'

Schoolchildren have taken to wearing stab vests to protect them from knife crime Pupils are wearing stab vests to school because of fears of knife attacks, a report warned today.

The study of gang violence found some children were bringing weapons in to school and hiding them in the school grounds.

One school reported students were found with screwdrivers, hammers and chisels.

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Wikipedia Lockdown

Could it be because I claimed to be Angie Harmon's boyfriend 123 times (Michelle Pfeiffer's too)?

From The New York Times:

Wikipedia May Restrict Public’s Ability to Change Entries

Stung by criticism after vandals changed Wikipedia entries to erroneously report that Senators Edward Kennedy and Robert Byrd had died, Wikipedia appears ready to introduce a system that prevents new and anonymous users from instantly publishing changes to the online encyclopedia.

The new system, called Flagged Revisions, would mark a significant change in the anything-goes, anyone-can-edit-at-any-time ethos of Wikipedia, which in eight years of existence has become one of the top 10 sites on the Web and the de facto information source for the Internet-using public.

The idea in a nutshell is that only registered, reliable users would have the right to have their material immediately appear to the general public visiting Wikipedia. Other contributors would be able to edit articles, but their changes will be held back until one of these reliable users has signed off, or “flagged” the revisions. (Registered, reliable users would see the latest edit to an article, whether flagged or not.)

The system has been used by German Wikipedia since May as a test case. Introduced slowly, since all that flagging is quite labor-intensive, German Wikipedians report that more than 95 percent of articles have been flagged, though there are delays as long as three weeks before an article’s revision appears on the site to all visitors.

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Happy Silver Anniversary Apple!

Twenty-five years ago today, Apple ran it's famous "1984" Superbowl ad:


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Power Vacuum?

BEDLAM, BEDLAM!!



From today's The Washington Post:

Obama Sworn In Again, With Right Words

In golf, they call it a mulligan. A do-over.

There's no formal name for what President Obama and Chief Justice John G. Roberts Jr. did last night.

After flubbing his one role on Inauguration Day -- administering the oath of office to Obama -- Roberts traveled to the White House to re-administer the oath.

Just to make sure...

...After a flawless recitation that included no Bible and took 25 seconds, Roberts smiled and said, "Congratulations, again."

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The New Presidential Math

Barrack Obama was wrong when he said: "Forty-four Americans have now taken the presidential oath. The words have been spoken during rising tides of prosperity and the still waters of peace."

Actually, only forty-three Americans have taken the oath. Grover Cleveland was the 22nd and 24th president.

Geez, that's like the millenium not "officially" starting until after the first year because there was no year zero. What a pain in the ass :)

But, I suppose someone in the Obama camp could have had an historian proofread the damn speech. My god, it was in the first paragraph.
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I, State Your Name...

Random thoughts Inauguration Day thoughts:

1. Hillary Clinton must be more than a little pissed to find out she was 2nd choice for Sec of State.
   
   
2. Cheney reminded me of Ernst Stavro Blofeld in his wheelchair (or maybe Charles Foster Kane).
   
   
   
   
3. It was Chief Justice ROBERTS who screwed up the oath of office NOT Obama. There's a certain cadence to it, and Roberts threw it out of wack when he didn't pause after "I, Barack Hussein Obama..." That's how previous oaths went and it was off-putting for Obama right from the start. THEN Roberts, who apparently didn't bother to practice, f'd up the placement of "faithfully."
   
   So now, everytime this historic event is replayed, they're going to have to pick it up at the end. Not earthshattering, I realize, but still irksome to me (AND I didn't even vote for Obama!).
   
   

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Order in the Court

I hold all of the winners for the New Yorker "cartoon caption contest" #176 in contempt.



My entry was okay:

Will the court reporter please read back the defendent's statement starting at "5, 4 3, 2, 1"

The finalists left me wanting to appeal:

• "This is what I get for convicting the janitor." - groan
  
  
• "For a divorce case, that went smoothly." - comci comca
  
  
• "Sorry about that—new gavel." - I object

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Legobama

Master brick builder, Gary McIntyre, recreates Tuesday's inauguration ceremonies in Legos. I hear Legos add about ten pounds on you.


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CSI: Harvard

Just a few days before the death Ricardo Montalban I happened to catch an airing of Mystery Street. This hidden gem of a film noir from 1950 stars the man who would go on to play (and sometimes overplay) Star Trek's Khan as the more grounded Peter Morales, a police lieutenant, who is tasked with solving a murder based solely on skeletal remains found on a Massachusetts beach.

I almost didn't watch it because the title is a bit deceiving and conjured up images of the The Hardy Boys or Nancy Drew. However, I'm glad I was too lazy to reach for the remote. The film stood out for me from others made during that era for a number of reasons:

• A cast of actors who, without exception, do a great job of delineating their respective, hard-boiled characters.
  


• That the lead character, Morales, is a Latin American doesn't enter into the plot and is not a blatant display of tokenism.
  


• The murder victim turns out to have been a small time, pregnant hooker who was trying to pressure one of her well-to-do regulars for abortion money. Heady stuff for 1950.
  


• The women aren't played as shrinking violets. For instance, one of them calmly shows her landlady the proper technique used to pop a clip out of a .45 automatic (including the often negleted clearing of the round left in the chamber).

For fans of police procedurals such as Law and Order and CSI, Mystery Street may seem a bit dated. Nowadays, detectives who only have a set of bones to work with would employ computers, high tech DNA testing, and a facial reconstruction from the skull in clay.

Instead Morales enlists the help of a Harvard professor, Dr. McAdoo (Bruce Bennett), to get a foothold into the case. Based on the bones in her feet, McAdoo concludes that the victim was a "toe dancer." Later, McAdoo finds a smaller set of bones that indicates the victim was pregnant. All the files for missing women in the area who could be her are collected. Painstakingly Morales and McAdoo use a slide projector to overlay pictures of the various missing persons on top of correctly sized and angled shots of the skull until they find one that fits.

But despite the misleading title, this isn't a "whodunit" as much as it is a "how will they get caught." The murderer is revealed about mid-way through and Morales fights against time to clear a man who may have been wrongly arrested for the crime. Interestingly, Morales is never fully convinced of that man's innocence until the very end.

Montalban, known for his larger than life characters, brings a sense of realism to the part of Morales. There's a great exchange between him and a wealthy snob, James Joshua Harkley (Edmon Ryan). While executing a search warrant at Harkley's residence, a disparaging remark is made about the lieutenant's accent. Montalban doesn't lose his cool and instead flashes a quick angry glance at the man that seems to say "been there done that" as he methodically continues his search.

Still incensed, Harkey points out that he's used to getting respect. Montalban, not missing a beat, replies "So am I Mr. Harkley, and my family hasn't been in this country for even one hundred years!"

I'm also embarrassed to point out a my slight "man crush" for the Montalban after viewing the scene of him playing handball (racquetball wasn't invented yet) with the other cops. The thirty-five year old Ricardo was "buff" before such a term existed.

Elsa Lanchester is another standout as Mrs. Smerrling, the drunken landlady of the apartment where the victim lived. She ends up blackmailing the real murderer after happening upon the very piece of evidence that Morales is looking for.

I did have some problems with Mystery Street. The pacing of a few scenes before the climax is slow. Some of the plot devices are telegraphed a little too early and are a bit contrived. For instance, we know that one of the key witnesses is going to happen to see a crucial newspaper headline that will lead her to call Morales. Likewise, we can predict that a key to a train station locker will be found at the bottom of Mrs. Smerrling's parrot cage at just the right moment.

However, the chase at a train station where Morales and his partner at last corner the real murderer is great. With no avenues of escape left, the killer tries to hold Morales at bay with what everyone except the criminal knows is an empty gun. There's no melodramtic Hollywood fight scene. Montalban calmly approaches the man and smiles as the killer pulls the trigger with a harmless click. Not a word is exchanged. But their respective expressions speak volumes. The murderer knows the chase is over. And Morales is finally convinced that his original suspect is one hundred percent innocent.

Becoming a star based on the "Latin lover" craze was probably a two-edged sword for Montalban. It gave him a leg-up in the business to be sure. But, it also limited the range of roles he'd be allowed to play. Mystery Street along with Battleground are two rare examples of Montalban playing a "real" person. It's worth a look for people who only know him through less substantial characters such as Khan, Mr. Roarke from Fantasy Island, or that guy admiring Chrysler's Corinthian leather.
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Oh, The Humanity!

This isn't exactly new, but still blogworthy. I wonder if there was shrinkage?

From The Smoking Gun:

In a bizarre incident that will surely lead to litigation (or an out-of-court settlement), a skier at Colorado's ritzy Vail resort was left dangling upside down and pantsless from a chairlift last Thursday morning. The January 1 mishap apparently occurred after the male skier, 48, and a child boarded a high-speed lift in Vail's Blue Sky Basin. It appears that the chairlift's fold-down seat was somehow not in the lowered position, which caused the man to partially fall through the resulting gap. His right ski got jammed in the ascending chairlift, and that kept him upended since his boot never dislodged from its binding.

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Big Ass Truck Rental and Storage (The Sequel)

The second spot created for "Jones' Big Ass Truck Rental and Storage" was listed on Sports Illustrated "Hot Clicks" page. The first one was funny. But this one's funnier.

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Barack of the Dead

Another great Onion "news" segment...

Obama Win Causes Obsessive Supporters To Realize How Empty Their Lives Are


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I Second That Emotion

Motown turns 50! (Detroit Free Press Article)

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Will Teach for TP

From the Detroit Free Press:

Detroit School Lacks Toilet Paper, Light Bulbs

A Detroit elementary school is asking for donations of toilet paper and light bulbs to continue functioning.

The principal of the Academy of Americas sent a letter to staff, parents and partners asking for donations of items "that are of the utmost importance for proper school functioning and most importantly for student health and safety."

In the letter, Principal Naomi Khalil cited budget constraints within the district as the reason that the school could no longer stock the items.

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Everything Just a Few Hundred Clicks Away

"I'll buy almost anything if it's shiny and made by Apple."

From The Onion:

Apple Introduces Revolutionary New Laptop With No Keyboard


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Flew the Coup

While the drawing didn't provide a lot of inspiration, as usual the results for the 174th New Yorker "Cartoon Caption Contest" were for the birds.

My entry was admittedly mediocre:

"Leftovers again?"

However, it was better than the first two "winners:"

• "I want to live at my dad's." - ugh...more disturbing than funny.
  
  
• "No, thanks-I only eat them on reality shows." - ZZZZZ
  
  
• "Am I in your dream or are you in mine?" - Gets my vote!

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Five on the Fifth

Apropos of nothing, I thought I'd note that today is the anniversary of Henry Ford's revolutionary $5 a day wage

From The Detroit Free Press:

On Jan. 5, 1914, Henry Ford unveiled his plan to pay workers $5 a day for eight hours of work. It was an effort to prevent turnover (close to 400% in 1913) and to ensure that his employees could afford to buy the cars they made. The previous wage was $2.34 for nine hours of work. That $5 wage would be worth $106.21 in 2008, according to the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics.

The $45 an hour today's non-union autoworker receives totals $360 a day.
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Don't Stop Believing

Video parody from Tabloid T-Shirts that mixes the Detroit Lions with The Sopranos. One of them had a great last season. The other didn't:


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Take Me To Your Hummel

As reported in the Daily Mail, this image from a NASA explorer on Mars has many convinced that it's a figurine left by former inhabitants:

As one enthusiast put it on a website: "These pictures are amazing. I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw what appears to be a naked alien running around on Mars."

Another, dismissing cynicism about the somewhat stony look of the "alien", wrote: "If you show me another rock in another photo from Mars, or Earth, that naturally looks like that, I will reconsider."

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