Adding Insult to Injury

Just days after I whined about Google ignoring Memorial Day, they posted a homepage graphic celebrating the Anniversary of the first ascent of Mount Everest.

I'm no flag-pin wearing zealot, but come on!
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Retrovirus

In the opening credits for the updated version of The Andromeda Strain, Michael Crichton, author of the 1969 novel, is listed as "J Michael Crichton." This made me wonder if he's trying to put some symbolic distance between himself and this new outing.

Truth be told, I went into the miniseries with a chip on my shoulder.

I LOVED the original novel and Robert Wise's very faithful 1971 film. I wasn't sure how it could be brought into the twenty-first century without losing something in the process.

After seeing part one, I don't think that they've succeeded.

The Andromeda Strain was very much a product of it's time.

We had just landed on the moon and the world still held all things space and science related with a bit of awe. I remember in 1969 an undercurrent of concern that the returning astronauts might bring back some sort of alien moon virus that could infect the planet.

Crichton's novel, as he would do almost ad nauseum with every subsequent effort, showed the flip-side of the technology coin as a military satellite brings back an unearthly microbe that causes instant death in living organisms through massive blood coagulation.

Enter Wildfire, a secret, underground government lab that exists in constant "standby" mode for the sole purpose of springing into action once a biological emergency (presumably alien) has been declared.

Fighting Andromeda turns into a race against time where luck is equally important as mankind's less than godlike technology. The new Andromeda Strain is less a statement about unchecked scientific advancement and more clearly a product of September 11th and the Iraq war.

As I suspected, in the hands of the Scott brothers, Tony and Ridley, the new effort feels the need to add gratuitous violence and pyrotechnics. They also, a la Alien, pull the military biowarfare conspiracy, originally a backstory, more front and center.

Frankly, I lost interest after seeing the forth head explode from close range gunfire.

At his best, Crichton keeps his plots very grounded in plausibility. He seamlessly lets the morality tale unfold through a straight forward presentation of the actions or inactions of his imperfect protagonists.

The new miniseries is more heavy handed.

The initial scenes establishing Dr. Stone's (Benjamin Bratt) strained (no pun) domestic situation felt like a bad Lifetime Network movie.

The conference room discussions between the Wildfire team (now wearing form fitting outfits that look unintentionally close to the uniforms worn by the crew of the Enterprise in another Robert Wise effort, Star Trek: The Motion Picture), start out as scientific discussions about the crisis at hand (which seem to be intended to bring the audience up to speed) before mutating Andromeda-like into barb trading arguments about the ethical implications of it all.

Rather than advance the story, the dialog struck me mostly like the banter one would hear in a bad Law and Order or Boston Legal episode.

Sure, the original Andromeda Strain, with it's green screen monitors and sometimes slow pacing is a bit dated.

But this new effort is far from a cure.
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Google Snubs Vets?

Google has once again capriciously decided (for reasons unclear) to NOT acknowledge Memorial Day with a special home page graphic, even though they celebrated the following days with "Holiday Logos" this year:

125th Birthday of Walter Gropius - May 18, 2008

Invention of the First Laser - May 16, 2008

Earth Day - April 22, 2008


Persian New Year - March 20, 2008


Chinese New Year - February 7, 2008

50th anniversary of the LEGO brick - January 28, 2008
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The OTHER Gas Crisis

Apparently, we need to develop less helium guzzling clown acts or face a world without "Lordy, Lordy, Look Who's Forty" birthday balloons.

From Washington University in St. Louis (Dec 31, 2007):

Helium supplies endangered, threatening science and technology

...The element that lifts things like balloons, spirits and voice ranges is being depleted so rapidly in the world's largest reserve, outside of Amarillo, Texas, that supplies are expected to be depleted there within the next eight years.

According to Lee Sobotka, Ph.D., professor of chemistry and physics in Arts & Sciences at Washington University in St. Louis:

The price of liquid helium is about $5 per liter, having gone up more than 50 percent over the past year because of what Sobotka calls "conventional" economics. He cited the withdrawal of some companies from the marketplace, and the emergence of others that are not yet in production, as the driving force behind higher prices, and not (as yet) a scarcity of the element.

Helium capture in the United States began after World War I, when the primary use of the gas was for dirigibles. Because helium is non-flammable, its use in balloons prevented another Hindenburg tragedy. The U.S. government ran the helium industry for 70 years, but since the mid-90s it has been in the domain of the oil and natural gas industries.

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The Curse of the President's Trophy

Although I stand by my "Team of Destiny" prediction for the Detroit Red Wings, their last two games against Dallas haven't been encouraging.

Especially when one considers the history of the President's Trophy (the award given out to the NHL team with the highest points accumulated during the regular season).

Since it's inception in the 1985-86 season, only six teams which won the trophy went on to win the Stanley Cup.

Counting this season, the Wings have won the President's Trophy six times. But in their three Stanley Cup seasons (1996-97, 1997-98, and 2001-02), only ONE (2001-02) coincided with having the best regular season record.

Of course, this kind of analysis is meaningless. I'm just saying.

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"F" it, McCain

I just found this hilarious website, Red State Update.

Here's their take on the state of presidential race.


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Spurned

From EWeek.com (May 12, 2008)

HP-EDS Merger to Challenge IBM in IT Services

HP and EDS combined would be about the same size as IBM Global Services.

Industry sources have confirmed to eWEEK that Hewlett-Packard will acquire Electronic Data Systems for about $13 billion.

The announcement may come as early as May 14, the source told eWEEK. HP acknowledged the news first earlier May 12. (more)

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Red Wings Roll On

After Monday's decisive victory for the Detroit Red Wings against the Dallas Stars, I'm getting VERY close to declaring them "Team of Destiny!"



Notice that the "T" is strong, the "O" almost there, and the "D" (for Dallas?) is just starting to appear.

But they did win the Presidents Cup this year. That's usually the kiss of death for a team seeking the Stanley Cup...

Oh hell, I'll just call it now: TEAM OF DESTINY!
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Head Shop(ing)

On the bright side, they could have been smoking crack.

From USAToday.com:

Cops: Texas teens admit stealing child's skull, using it to smoke weed Houston police say three teens admitted digging up a child's corpse, removing the skull and using it to smoke marijuana.

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Keeping The Faith

Battlestar Galatica's latest outing, "Faith," was GREAT!

I'm going to really miss it when it ends this year.

Some thoughts:

Roslyn's bald wig cap at the beginning looked rather fake Apparently, Mary McDonnell didn't want to "take one for the team" and shave her head.

One one could question the use of a ticking countdown clock near the end as a forced dramatic element (especially for BSG which generally avoids such clichés). On the other hand, like the shots of the dripping IV in a parallel storyline, it did support the notion of "time running out" that was developed in the episode.

As in the Sopranos, when, Tony had to keep the peace by personally killing his cousin who had capped Phil's brother, blond Six was taken out by one of the other 6's after she killed Barolay. But, I love the fact that BSG set up and resolved that conflict in only five minutes compared to the Sopranos which devoted a number of episodes to do that same idea.

I took sadistic pleasure in Gaeta's suffering because of his leg wound. He's been a bit self-righteous after his stint as Baltar's assistant.

Speaking of Baltar, is he becoming the BSG equivalent of talk radio or the blogosphere?

Lastly, a silly thought.

Since President Rosyln has always been an analog for George W. Bush, it's appropriate that, as shown in her dream, her mother resembles Barbara Bush.

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Happy Birthday Hockey Puck!

It's worth noting that today's is Don Rickles' 82nd birthday.



I was disappointed with the John Landis documentary (no fault of Don's), BUT his appearance on Late Night with David Letterman was an instant classic!

Give 'em hell Don!
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Naked Ambition

Reading the results for the New Yorker "Cartoon Caption Contest" # 143 was deflating.



Admittedly, my submission was a reworking of the punchline to a famous joke:

"I've been bringing it to work ever since the wife found it in my briefcase"

But the three "winners" are PATHETIC:

• "I couldn't find a real naked woman to ride with me in the H.O.V. lane." - why would one NEED "a real naked woman" to ride with them in the H.O.V lane?
  
  
• "Hey, you teach C.P.R. your way, and I'll teach it mine." - mediocre AT BEST



• "She's my Seeing Eye doll." - that doesn't even make sense! And why is "Seeing Eye doll" capitalized?

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Palabra a Tu Madre!

From today's Detroit Free Press:

The Detroit City Council should either vote to remove Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick from office, ask Gov. Jennifer Granholm to oust him or censure the mayor, according to a report from the independent attorney hired by the council to assist with its investigation of the text message scandal.

Tabloid T-Shirts
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Hey, This Ain't Hooters!!

As part of it's effort to promote their new Pike's Place Roast, Starbucks Coffee replaced their well-known green logo (below right) with a retro logo from the 1970's that featured a topless mermaid (or siren) as shown on left.

However, the new image (unlike the one below) was tweaked to be more modest and has the siren's hair covering her bare breasts.

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Hide in Plain Sight

It's Baltar! He's the twelfth Cylon!!

That's the John the Baptist-like epiphany I had while watching last night's Battlestar Galactia, "Escape Velocity."

Appropriately, it occurred during Baltar's "Sermon on the Mount" speech as he preached about the Cylon god.

From the very beginning, Baltar's had "visions" of Six in his head that no one else could see.

At the time, I chalked it up to his own guilt induced post-traumatic stress syndrome due to the active role he took in the annihilation of his own planet.

However, visions turn out to be a characteristic exhibited in three known Cylons. Galen Tyrol Saul Tigh, and Six all have suffered the distraction of hallucinations. Furthermore, "the four" discovered that they were Cylons because they couldn't get the song "All Along the Watchtower" out of their heads.

Because BG tries to stay grounded in the logic of it's own internal reality, the simplest explanation for these strange, almost supernatural, occurrences is that it's a Cylon thing. This leads me to conclude that Baltar's one of them.

Of course, the good news is that finding out whoever the twelfth Cylon is, while a fun academic exercise, really doesn't matter to me. Whatever happens, I'm just enjoying the ride.

In it's final season, BG is doing a good job of wrapping up all the loose plot threads at a pace that doesn't seem to distract from the stories themselves.

The Sopranos, because of it's huge success (both critically and culturally), sometimes exhibited a self-awareness of the audience. BG, to say it mildly, has never had that problem.

I was worried that the relevation of the four Cylons being with the fleet all the time would turn out to be a weak "gimmick." But they've handled that quite well.

And, as usual, the politics of BG defy partisanship.

In "Escape Velocity," Laura Roslin, BG's analog for George Bush, is trying to enact tough security policies that she sees as necessary keep a lid on hostilities between certain religious extremist factions in the fleet.

Mischievously, Roslin, as characterized throughout the show, is no Neo-con. She was a teacher for goodness sake. Yet, as president, she's had to make some "pragmatic" decisions that, in many cases, went against her own philosophical grain.

Apollo, who has the luxury of NOT being the one where the buck stops, is free to rail against Roslin's often draconian policies on moral grounds. Sure, he's got a point. But he's just so damn self-righteous about it.

MOST of the time, when television shows engage in moral debates (think ANY episode of Boston Legal), there seems to be a clear cut winner. Sure, they'll toss the other side a bone to appear "even-handed." But, one can usually figure out where the writer's are coming from.

In BG, the morality play, like real life, is multi-faceted and often ambiguous.

If Roslin is Bush, than Kara Thrace (Starbuck) has become BG's metaphor for the anti-war movement.

"We're going the wrong way!" she shouts, each time the fleet, implementing Roslin's orders, makes a jump that apparently takes them in the opposite direction of Earth.

Starbuck perfectly epitomizes the frustration many in the real world have felt as they helplessly watch the United States get more entrenched in what they see as the quagmire of Iraq.

Yet, since Adama has given her a chance to find the "right way," she doesn't seem to have any answers and comes across as rather bitchy.

As I said earlier, call me heretical, but in the end, exactly what happens isn't important. It's the manner in which the gospel according to Battlestar Galactica is being told that I'm enjoying.

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Every Day is Earth Day!

Relax. Everything's fine!

From Yesterday's Edmunton Sun:

No heaven on Earth Day - Wintry blast cools global warming fervour

So much for global warming. Earth Day festivities went ahead despite the blast of frigid weather yesterday.

Vendors and presenters from various eco-friendly groups, including Bullfrog Power, CO2 Reduction Edmonton and the local solar energy society, crammed into a lone tent in Hawrelak Park after a blizzard forced them to abandon their original locations.
Organizers crammed over 40 groups in a space that would normally be occupied by half that number. Presenters' booths were initially planned to have been spread out between at least five tents, with far larger displays.

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Leave 'Em Wanting More

As a teenager, the Dean Martin celebrity roasts marked the start of my cynical side regarding "show business" when I realized that the shots of celebrities reacting to their fellow roasters were often strategically edited to create the impression that everyone on the dais found all of proceedings hysterically funny.

It was as if the Dean Martin producers thought that the audience would unquestioningly accept the fact that Nipsey Russell could be reduced to tears and uncontrollable laughter by a routine Rich Little performance.

I did notice that they didn't have to resort to this tactic very often during a Don Rickles performance. He was ALWAYS the funniest one there. That's understandable given that insulting people was his shtick.

In fact, a Dean Martin roast that didn't have Don Rickles, was a letdown similar to a John Ford movie without John Wayne (only more so).

That and his Tonight Show appearences still hold a very special spot in my memories.

So, I was sincerely excited about the Landis directed HBO documentary, Mr. Warmth: The Don Rickles Project (2007), that mixes live recordings from Rickles' Las Vegas act, interviews with various celebrities (including Rickles himself), and clips from Rickles' work in television and movies.

A valiant effort, and seemingly a labor of love, the main problem I had with Mr. Warmth, like the Martin roasts, came down to editing. Landis tries to cram so much in that he is forced cut away from scenes just as they're getting good.

For instance, there's clip from a Rickle's appearance on an old Tonight Show where Frank Sinatra was the guest host. Sinatra asks Rickles who his favorite singer is and without missing a beat Rickles replies Dick Haymes. I'd love to have seen more of that interchange, but Landis cuts to something else.

All too often, that something else Landis cuts away to is not quite as interesting or funny as what he's just left to take us there. If I have a chance to see vintage footage of Don Rickles and Frank Sinatra jousting on air, who cares what comedian Bobby Slayton has to say?

On the other hand, Penn Jillette, comic magician, makes an interesting comparison between Don Rickles and The Sex Pistols, yet gets only one short appearance. John Stamos and Bob Saget, who both hardly talk about Don Rickles, end up with MORE onscreen time.

The dilemma Landis faced was understandable. In addition to segments of Rickles' stage act, old movie and television clips, Landis has to juggle a daunting list of "commentators" who make an appearance in Mr. Warmth. Including: Clint Eastwood, Robert De Niro, Richard Lewis, Sarah Silverman, Bob Newhart, Whoopi Goldberg, Steve Lawrence, Robin Williams, Roseanne Barr, Christopher Guest, Billy Crystal, Regis Philbin, Sidney Poitier, Kathy Griffin, Ed McMahon, James Caan, Joan Rivers, Jimmy Kimmel, Harry Shearer, Chris Rock, and Martin Scorsese.

But that doesn't excuse Landis from often making the wrong choices.

Fortunately, the DVD release of Mr. Warmth has extra material that includes some of the things that should have made it to the finished piece. Such as James Caan explaining how he channeled Don Rickles for his characterization of Sonny in The Godfather. Why that didn't make the final cut is a mystery. There's also a neat "extra" where Caan talks about working with Howard Hawks, John Wayne and Robert Mitchum on El Dorado (which, of course, was correctly omitted from the actual documentary).

I also wish Landis had spent a bit more time exploring the question of why Rickles can get away with a persona that, on paper, is so politically incorrect. Chris Rock touches on that idea when, while commenting on Rickles' act, says "of course, it's offensive...unless you're into comedy."

Mr. Warmth was informative, but it could have dug a bit deeper. Mr. Warmth was funny, but it could have been funnier.

Landis just needed to make up his mind.

The irony is that the best part of Mr. Warmth was seeing Rickles make the rounds on various talk shows promoting it.

In March of this year, he made a killer of an appearance on David Letterman's show with Denzel Washington (who elected to remain an extra segment just for the thrill of it).

The clips of that performance are proof that even at eighty, Rickles still has it.

Part 1:



Part 2:

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It's Not Me, It's Them!

Well, at least I now know it's nothing personal.

Last week, I neglected to submit an entry for the New Yorker "Cartoon Caption Contest #140."



However, my friend did. It was a decent submission:

"No cover charge if we get there by Thursday!"

True to form, the New Yorker's judges carved a trail of mediocrity in their selections:

• "Forget Oregon. I'm going to Vegas." dull
  
  


• "There's red carpets in them thar hills!" corny
  
  


• "Indian casino. I'd say Comanche." huh? that doesn't even make sense!

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Euros for Lambs

Film star and animal rights advocate, Bridget Bardot gets fined a fourth time for "inciting racial hatred." This time because of her remarks criticizing followers of Islam for slaughtering sheep to mark the Muslim feast of Eid al-Adha.

I guess being "progressive" depends on who's mutton is being gored.

From Reuters:

Brigitte Bardot on trial for Muslim slur

PARIS (Reuters) - French former film star Brigitte Bardot went on trial on Tuesday for insulting Muslims, the fifth time she has faced the charge of "inciting racial hatred" over her controversial remarks about Islam and its followers.

Prosecutors asked that the Paris court hand the 73-year-old former sex symbol a two-month suspended prison sentence and fine her 15,000 euros ($23,760) for saying the Muslim community was "destroying our country and imposing its acts".

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Power to the People

An interesting take on blogging and "fair use" from today's Detroit Free Press:

QUESTION: I want to put a Free Press article and photo on my blog. Do I need permission?

ANSWER: We are pleased if you put a link in your blog or Web site to an article on http://www.freep.com/. However, you cannot use Free Press stories or photos on your site, your blog or in an e-newsletter. Free Press content is protected by copyright law.

According to the U.S. Copyright Office -- online at http://www.copyright.gov/ -- "There is no specific number of words, lines or notes that may safely be taken without permission. Acknowledging the source of the copyrighted material does not substitute for obtaining permission."

Hmm...I wonder if the Freep got permission from the U.S. Copyright Office for the quote?
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