Shear Nonsense

The New Yorker's Cartoon Caption Contest (#240) left me feeling clipped.

I actually liked mine best:

"Norm, I left another message with the pharmacist about your Cialis dosage."

The winners, on the other hand, tried too hard (pun intended):

• "That's it. I'm returning those narciscissors today!" - ha ha, what a cut-up (NOT)
  


• "Keep going—it's starting to turn me on." - eh
  


• "I wish you’d go back to doing self-portraits." - isn't that what he is doing?