Phony Outrage

I haven't listened to Rush Limbaugh in a long time. He's so predictable that I don't get too much out of his show anymore.

But, this flap over his "phony soldiers" comment is ridiculous.

Here's a Seattle Times story on one of the men who Limbaugh was referring to. (link)

Man who posed as military hero sentenced to 5 months in prison

A Tacoma man who falsely claimed he was a decorated war hero when he took the stage at demonstrations held in opposition to the U.S.'s role in Iraq was sentenced this morning to five months in prison in U.S. District Court in Seattle.

Jesse MacBeth, 23, was also sentenced to three months in a halfway house after his release and three years of probation. MacBeth claimed that he was an Army ranger who killed more than 200 people, many at close range, including some as they prayed in a mosque. He spoke at an anti-war rally in Tacoma and appeared in a 20-minute anti-war video that circulated widely on the Internet.

In reality, MacBeth made it through only six weeks of Army basic training and never set foot in Iraq...

Sure sounds phony to me.
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Hate Him If You Want To...

Great comments from Toby Keith regarding "Love Me If You Can," one of the songs from his new album "Big Dog Daddy." (link)

...I get roped into these political arguments, but the truth is I don't see things right or left, I see them right or wrong. If you put check boxes on the left and right for all the big issues, my list will go back and forth all the way down. But all I have to do is disagree with a hardcore, far left liberal on one thing and they just mark me down with all the boxes on the right. And it's pretty much the same thing on the other side.

That song says exactly how I feel about myself in the world. I have to deal with other celebrities assuming all my marks are in one column, and all it shows me is that most of those people are very uneducated. For instance, Sean Penn was accepting a humanitarian award from a freedom of speech organization recently and said Sean Hannity, Bill O'Reilly and Toby Keith should be held accountable now that the Iraq war has gone astray. He's lumping me in with these guys when my song clearly, word for word, indicated my support for the invasion of Afghanistan.

Now the difference between me and Sean Penn is that I've talked to 50 generals. I doubt he's even talked to one. I didn't support the war in Iraq and still don't, but I'm sure I know more about it than he does. When he and Clooney get together and say we should go to Africa and stop the genocide, I'll be the one over there performing for the troops when it happens...

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Blown Away

I'm sure other businesses will be flocking to Michigan now that our income tax is going up.

I know SOMETHING had to be done, but it gets a little tiring to hear Gov. Granholm blame it all on Engler every chance she gets. Especially after what she said in 2006:

"In five years, you’re going to be blown away by the strength and diversity of Michigan’s transformed economy."

Today's Freep has a list of services to be taxed AND those that won't (link). I've included some of them below. Interestingly, legal, golf, marina, and accounting service fees WON'T be taxed (hmmmm).

Services that would be taxed:

• Astrology
• Baby shoe bronzing
• Bail bonding
• Balloon-o-grams
• Dating services
• Fortune-telling services
• Numerology services
• Palm-reading services
• Psychic services
• Singing telegrams
• Tanning
• Escort services
• Massage
• Armored cars

Services that would not be taxed (* = suspiciously omitted):

• Cable or satellite television
• Sports and concert tickets
• Vehicle repair
• Golf greens fees *
• Marina fees *
• Movies
• Legal fees *
• Accounting fees *
• Haircuts

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Da Bears?

Lions and Tigers (well, not really) and Bears....OH MY.



LIONS 3 and 1! Is it too early to quote Huey Lewis: "Do you believe in love"...?

Probably (heh heh).
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Simpsons vs. Family Guy

Here's a couple of interesting clips demonstrating how The Family Guy (second only to American Dad as the LEAST funny animated show on TV) steals material from The Simpsons (second only to South Park as the funniest animated show on TV).

Family Guy Steals From Simpsons - Part 1 of 2 (link)



Family Guy Steals From Simpsons - Part 2 of 2 (link)


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Wahhhhh

He should sue the Jets for sucking.

From 1010wins.com (link)

Jets Ticket Holder from NJ Sues Patriots and Coach Belichick

NEW YORK (AP) -- A Princeton man and Jets season-ticket holder files a class-action suit against the New England Patriots and coach Bill Belichick for "deceiving customers.'

'VIDEO: Jets Ticket Holders Sue Patriots, Belichick

Carl Mayer's suit stems from the Patriots being caught videotaping signals from Jets coaches, in violation of league rules, in New England's 38-14 season-opening win September 9.

Mayer's attorney, Bruce Afran, accused the Pats of violating "the integrity of the game." "This is a way of punishing Belichick and the Patriots.''

Mayer is seeking more than $184 million in damages for Jets ticket holders.

Belichick was fined $500,000 by the league, and the team was fined $250,000 for violating a league rule that prohibits clubs from using cameras on the sidelines for any purpose.

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Eat a Salad

Alicia Silverstone's PETA ad. And I thought vegetarians were supposed to be slim: (link).


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Screwed Again

I'll leave it up to you...

Last week's "Caption Contest" from The New Yorker : (link)


My losing entry was: "Domestic Violence."

Here are the submissions that made the cut.

• “Oh, now you want to talk, when all week it was 'Do Not Disturb'.”
  
  
• "The time is 11:59. You have one minute to check out."
  
  
• “I can fluff your pillow the easy way or the hard way.”

As usual, I don't think any of the "winners" are funny.
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Well, At Least It Was Close...

...they only lost by five touchdowns (ouch).

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Vox Pop

From MSNBC.com:
(btw, the editors should have come up with a better choice of words for the headline)

Fate of Bonds’ Historic Ball in Hands of Fans

Designer who bought No. 756 sets up online vote to pick what to do with it

Fashion designer Marc Ecko spent $752,467 to buy Barry Bonds’ record 756th home-run ball, and now he wants baseball fans everywhere to decide what to do with it.

Ecko is offering three choices: Donate it as is to the National Baseball Hall of Fame in Cooperstown, N.Y.;brand it with an asterisk and donate it to the Hall of Fame; or put it on a rocket and blast it into space.

“I wanted the ball to democratize the ball and to give the ball to the people, to give the ball to America,” Ecko told TODAY co-host Matt Lauer during an exclusive interview Monday.

Ecko set up a Web page, http://www.vote756.com/, that allows fans to vote for one of the three options. Voting ends at 11:59 p.m. EDT on Tuesday, Sept. 25, and Ecko will announce which option won exclusively on TODAY. (link)

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Juice Gone Wild

Wow.

In addition to Thomas Riccio's tape recording of O.J. Simpson's Las Vegas"break-in", there's also a video. (link)


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Aroma Tire (No Joke)

Wouldn't all that R&D have been better spent on perfecting an electric car?

KUMHO Introduces World's First "Aroma Tire"

For Select Passenger Vehicles U.S. market will carry limited inventory of orange, lavender and jasmine scents

Rancho Cucamonga, Calif. — KUMHO Tire USA, announces the introduction of the world’s first fragrance automotive tire, the ECSTA DX. The project is the “fruition” of more than a year’s worth of research and development to deliver an alluring aroma tire that replaces the normal “black rubber” smell with heat-resistant oils in the scent of lavender, and in later versions, neroli (orange) or jasmine...(link)

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What's So Confusing?

California must have the stupidest jury pool in the nation.

• Exhibit A: OJ Simpson...blood everywhere, low-speed chase, Bruno Malis - INNOCENT
  


• Exhibit B: Robert Blake...alibi for the time of his wife's shooting was that he went back to the restaurant to get his gun (that had fallen out of his pocket into the booth) - INNOCENT
  
  
• Exhibit C: Phil Spector...told chauffeur that he thinks he shot someone - HUNG JURY

Case closed.

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Why Do I Bother?

Every week the New Yorker runs a "caption the cartoon" contest (link).

Last week, they had this prehistoric scene of cavemen encountering a giant gun.


My caption submission was "Cro-Magnum Man"

However, these three made the final cut:

• "So this is what killed the dinosaurs.”


• “What did you say happened to the last tenant?”


• “We're gonna need a bigger spear.”

None of them are funnier than my entry (if I do say so myself).
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BAM!

Six more to go until I win my bet about the Lions finishing at least .500 for the season!!

Will Detroit have a love affair with Jon Kitna?

How many bad games before they throw him under the bus?
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The Emmy's

Three reasons why I'm glad I didn't watch last night's Emmy's:

• Characters from "Family Guy" (the least funny show on TV) doing a bit where they say "Scrubs" isn't funny.
  
  
• James Spader beats James Gandolfini.
  
  
• 30 Rock beats than The Office.

Who votes on these things??
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Winston Churchill Quotes

I happened upon this list of Winstin Churchill quotes (link). They hold up very well. Here are some of my favorites:

• A fanatic is one who can't change his mind and won't change the subject.
  
  


• An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.
  
  


• He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.
  
  


• Never, never, never believe any war will be smooth and easy, or that anyone who embarks on the strange voyage can measure the tides and hurricanes he will encounter. The statesman who yields to war fever must realize that once the signal is given, he is no longer the master of policy but the slave of unforeseeable and uncontrollable events.
  
  


• One ought never to turn one's back on a threatened danger and try to run away from it. If you do that, you will double the danger. But if you meet it promptly and without flinching, you will reduce the danger by half.
  
  


• Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm.

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Leave Chris Alone

Just to clear up any understandable confusion ...

The Chris Crocker (left) who made the emotional YouTube plea to "LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE" (link) is NOT the same Chris Crocker who plays safety for the Atlanta Falcons (right).

It's easy to see how someone could get the two mixed up. I hope this helps.

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The Onion on the NY Times

I got a kick out of this Onion bit on the New York Times: (link)


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The Truth Is Out There

Moose Change is a spot on parody of Loose Change, that documentary by a couple of wacko losers who claim that 9/11 was an inside job. (link)


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Another One Bites the Dust

For 2007, I'm once again making my yearly prediction that the Lions will finish the season with at least a .500 record (8 wins, 8 loses).

With Sunday's result: LIONS 36, RAIDERS 21 -- I'm on my way.

Woo hoo...only seven more to go!!

BTW, in case you missed it, I'm being sarcastic.

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That's Stupid

From AOL.com:

Paris Hilton Sues Over 'That's Hot' Card (link)

LOS ANGELES (Sept. 8) - Paris Hilton is suing over the use of her picture and catchphrase "That's hot" on a greeting card. Hilton sued Hallmark Cards Inc. in U.S. District Court seeking an injunction and unspecified damages to be determined at trial.

According to the lawsuit filed Thursday, the card is titled "Paris's First Day as a Waitress" and shows a photo of Hilton's face on a cartoon of a waitress serving a plate of food to a patron. In a dialogue bubble she says, "Don't touch that, it's hot." The customer cartoon asks, "What's hot?" She answers, "That's hot."

The suit says Hilton owns the trademark "That's hot," which was registered on Feb. 13, 2007...

Donald Trump was able to trademark "You're Fired" and Michael Buffer "Let's Get Ready to Rumble." So, I guess anthing's possible.

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iScrewed (LOL)

Ha ha ha ha ha ha

Lots of the original iPhone buyers, many who waited in line for hours last JUNE and paid $599, are now pretty miffed that Apple has dropped the price by $200.

But should they be surprised? (I'll answer that -- NO).

From Yahoo Tech: (link)
...Much of the resentment is about the way the iPhone depreciated in value in less than 67 days. Jeremy Riga says, "I am NOT angry at the $200 price drop. I'm angry that Apple has decided NOT to keep the VALUE in the iPhone (or that it wasn't there to begin with). Because as a savvy consumer I understand the difference between buying something of value, and something that is overpriced. I bought the iPhone because I was sold, at $600, on the VALUE. Now today I am finding that I was wrong - it was NOT worth $600 - it was worth $400, perhaps even less. Thus, it was overpriced and I was over-sold by someone I have trusted to sell me worthwhile, and valuable products in the past. Steve Jobs."...

Yes, Jeremy, you're sooooo "savvy." You got so hot and bothered to be the first one you your block with an iPhone that it never occurred to you that the price would drop if you just held off a little longer?

Shaddup.
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Numbers Don't Lie

Here's a story you WON'T see on "Countdown with Keith Olbermann":

1. Bill O'Reilly's ratings at 8pm consistently kick Olbermann's ass


2. Bill O'Reilly's ratings for his 11pm RERUN consistently kick Olbermann's ass

For the record, this isn't about politics for me. I thought that Olbermann was a mediocre jackass way back when he was on ESPN.

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Maybe ABC Already Has Enough Money

I hate "vast Left-wing" conspiracy theories, but this is curious given that a DVD release tied into the sixth anniversary of 9/11, would make millions.

Is Clinton's candidacy blocking 'Path to 9/11'? (link)

Screenwriter of docudrama says ABC exec said delay has been prompted by unflattering portrayal of previous administration.

By Martin Miller
Los Angeles Times Staff Writer

September 5, 2007

Among the nearly two dozen television DVDs slated for nationwide release on Sept. 11 is the second season of "Bones," the third season of "Grey's Anatomy" and the miniseries "The Starter Wife" that aired earlier this year. Not on the list on that day or any other in the near future is last year's highly controversial "The Path to 9/11."

The $40-million, five-hour ABC miniseries, which recently received seven Emmy nominations and drew a combined two-night audience of more than 25 million viewers, is for now on the path to nowhere. Its Amazon page reads: "Currently unavailable. We don't know when or if this item will be back in stock."

With no date for the release, questions are being raised about whether political pressure is behind its current status as a stalled or discarded DVD project. The reasons are murky, but the miniseries' writer, Cyrus Nowrasteh, believes it's crystal clear: Powerful forces are out to protect Bill Clinton's presidential legacy and shield Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton (D-N.Y.) from any potential collateral damage in her bid for the White House.

Nowrasteh, also one of the miniseries' many producers, said he was told by a top executive at ABC Studios that "if Hillary weren't running for president, this wouldn't be a problem."
...

Initially, Nowrasteh was told by executives at ABC Studios that the miniseries would have a DVD release in January. Then, April. Then, this summer. Currently, Nowrasteh has not been notified of a specific release date for the DVD.

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Mr. Bookman (Seinfeld)

To honor the start of school, here's one of Seinfeld's funniest bits: (link)


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Stop the Presses!!!

Gambling at Rick's...? I'm shocked, shocked!

Study: Men go for good looks (link)

By RANDOLPH E. SCHMID, AP Science Writer
Mon Sep 3, 5:30 PM ET

WASHINGTON - Science is confirming what most women know: When given the choice for a mate, men go for good looks.

And guys won't be surprised to learn that women are much choosier about partners than they are....

...Their study involved 26 men and 20 women in Munich, Germany.

Participants ranged in age from 26 to their early 40s and took part in "speed dating," short meetings of three to seven minutes in which people chat, then move on to meet another dater. Afterward, participants check off the people they'd like to meet again, and dates can be arranged between pairs who select one another.

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Insult to Injury

I hate to pile on, but this pic from the Freep of Appalachian State fans in their "Michigan Who" shirts was pretty funny (link).

No website selling them (yet).



BTW, is that guy on the far right Jack Black?
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The End of Iraq

From Publishers Weekly:

Galbraith, a leading commentator on Iraq thanks to his recent articles in the New York Review of Books, presents a clear-eyed and persuasive case against the Bush administration's nation-building project there. As a former U.S. diplomat with long experience in Iraq, he offers an insider's view of the American occupation's failures—the poor preparation for post-invasion chaos, the cluelessness about Iraqi politics, the incompetence and corruption of the occupation authority—while advancing a deeper critique...

...Deeply skeptical of attempts to reunify the Iraqi state, he proposes that the U.S. withdraw from Arab Iraq and "facilitate an amicable divorce" between the fractious sections. Galbraith advised the Iraqi Kurds during recent constitutional negotiations and is palpably sympathetic to their national aspirations; his argument sometimes feels like a brief for Kurdish separatism...

Galbraith is pretty damning in his description of the Bush Administration's lack of readiness to take on the Iraq war. For instance, he relates (second handedly) an account of a discussion between President Bush and some Iraqi leaders where Bush didn't seem to realize that Iraq is made up of Kurds, Shiites and Sunnis.

Also, Galbraith lists many of the U.S. adminstrators who were selected for important posts in Iraq after the invasion based upon patronage and neopotism rather than knowledge and experience.
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An Unreasonable Man (Ralph Nader)

From the Netflix summary:

The personal and professional life of Ralph Nader, one of America's most controversial consumer advocates and political activists, is the subject of this biographical documentary. Nader's willingness to take on big industry earned him a reputation as both a working-class hero and a public pariah. Interviews and archival footage help illuminate this in-depth profile of one of the most influential political figures in modern history.

I didn't think I'd enjoy this documentary as much as I did. I was expecting this to be a completely one-sided indictment of capitalism and our economic system in general.

But, whether you like him or not, I think it does a pretty fair job of presenting Nader's crusades starting in the 1960's and culminating with his controversial runs for president in 2000 and 2004.

While the film takes as a given the fact that George W. Bush is the "worst" President in recent history, a surprising amount of time is devoted to Nader's former Liberal/Democrat allies who, because they blame him for Gore's defeat in 2000 (and Kerry's, to a lesser extent, in 2004), have bitterly thrown him under the bus.

Two of the film's talking heads are Pat Buchanan and Eric Alterman. Interestingly, it's Buchanan who seems calm and rational. Alterman, a Liberal who apparently hasn't "Moved On" is still seething with rage and comes across like a whining bitch as he vents his anger at Nader.

There's also a two segments (one under "Deleted" scenes) that skewers fatboy Michael Moore as the shallow, self-serving blowhard that he really is.

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Hot Potato

From The Smoking Gun: (link)

U.S. Senator Gets Flushed AUGUST 28--Here's the Minnesota police report memorializing the June 11 arrest of U.S. Senator Larry Craig in an airport bathroom. The Idaho Republican (pictured in the mug shot at right) was nabbed in a men's restroom at the Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport after he apparently sought some same-stall action from a plainclothes cop....

Lots has already been said, but I found two things notable...

One, Sen. Craig's reference to his "wide stance."

Second, and I hate to point this out, but more disturbing to me was the fact that according to the arrest report, Craig dashed into the stall next to the cop IMMEDIATELY after the previous occupant exited WITHOUT even waiting for the air to clear.

For most people, that would be a real mood killer.
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Spoilers

You've been warned!! (link)


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The 9/11 Conspiracies

This History Channel documentary does a great job of pitting various 9/11 conspiracy theorists (nutcases), whose only credentials seem to be the fact that they have a lot of free time, against real life experts.

Sunday, September 09 at 6:00 PM (link)

Can be purchased online (link)

The 9/11 Conspiracies: Fact or Fiction (2 hours)

• Based in large part on a breakthrough exposé by Popular Mechanics.


• Experts in engineering, intelligence and the military scrutinize 9/11 conspiracy theories.


• Produced by the authoritative NBC News Productions.

Examines the various conspiracy theories espoused on the Internet, in articles and in public forums that attempt to explain the 9/11 attacks. It includes theories that the World Trade Center was brought down by a controlled demolition; that a missile, not a commercial airliner, hit the Pentagon; and that members of the U.S. government orchestrated the attacks in hopes of creating a war in the Middle East. Each conspiracy argument is countered by a variety of experts in the fields of engineering, intelligence and the military. The program also delves into the anatomy of such conspiracies and how they grow on the Internet.

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Postsecrets

Two funny ones from this week's Postsecret batch (link):

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I Apologize in Advance

Separated At Birth -- Merv Griffin and Harper Lee (author of "To Kill a Mockingbird"):


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It Takes an iVillage

Interesting article in Newsweek this week: "Facebook Grows Up" (link).

My favorite line from the piece is a caption on one of the graphics which (unfortunately) doesn't appear in Newsweek's online version:

Facebook does complicate the pleasure of gently losing touch with people you're tired of.

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Or Maybe He Justs Sucks...

From Comcast.net (link)

Steven Seagal, the ponytail-sporting, martial arts-practicing, early '90s-era action hero, thinks that there's a simple explanation as to why the phone hasn't been ringing as much over the past five years, and, just like one of his big-screen characters, he wants someone to pay.

...The 56-year-old actor, who still works steadily but more in the straight-to-DVD genre of late, thinks he deserves an official apology from the FBI, which investigated him several years ago in connection with several shady endeavors, including a 2002 plot to frighten two reporters out of writing unflattering stories about him and his ex-business partner.

Actually, I can think of five other reasons why his career has stalled:

• Into the Sun
• Half Past Dead
• Ticker
• Exit Woulds
• On Deadly Ground

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Check's In the Mail

From Thinkgeek.com: (link)

Excuse Box

Hey, I gotta call you back later...

Everybody gets those annoying phone calls. The kind where you sigh heavily, roll your eyes, and make those annoying "blah-dee-blah" hand gestures like some demented muppet that won't shut up... Believe me, we get those calls, too. We feel your pain. Luckily, we have an awesome solution.

The Excuse Box is no ordinary key tag. Its onboard memory holds 10 full minutes of environmental effects designed specifically to befuddle your annoying caller. Click on the links below, and imagine yourself gleefully escaping from an otherwise awkward and potentially trouble-filled phone call.

• Um, sorry, I really gotta hang up - there's a thunderstorm coming! Hey, can I let you go?


• I'm here at the auto-shop, and the mechanic wants to talk. Oh, jeez! There's all kinds of flashing lights ahead. I'd better hang up...


• I'm sorry, the baby's crying. Can I talk to you later?


• I'm... jeez, I can't hear a thing - they've got this crew putting up dry-wall over here. Can I call you back?


• Okay...hey, that was the final boarding call, I have to get on the plane!


• ...hello?... can you... can you hear me?... you're breaking up...!


• I'm sorry, that was my secretary - I have another call...


• Wow, did you hear that? The operator is breaking in - I gotta take this, it must be important!

These are high-quality sound effects, not some cheap instantly recognizable crap. If you've ever wanted to hang up the phone, guilt free, this gadget is a must-have.

Hee hee
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No Willie Sutton

From Ananova.com:

Robbers snatch dog poo

A Chinese woman has told how robbers snatched a parcel of dog poo wrapped in newspaper out of her hand outside a bank.

Mrs Chen, of Laohekou city, was waiting in the bank to withdraw money when nature suddenly called for her dog.

"While I was waiting in the queue, my dog had to poo. So I asked for several pieces of newspaper to wrap the poo," she said.

After wrapping it, Chen left the bank, and was waiting to cross the street to throw the parcel into a rubbish bin when the robber struck.

"A motorcycle stopped swiftly before me, the man on the rear seat seized the package from me, and they sped away," she said.

Police are investigating the case while "laughing at the stupidity of the robbers", according to Chutian City Papers.

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Six Degrees of Merv

Proving that "Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon" works with ANYONE, here's how you could do it for Merv Griffin:

1. Merv Griffin - Karl Malden (PHANTOM OF THE RUE MORGUE)
   


2. Karl Malden - Dean Martin (MURDERS ROW)
   


3. Dean Martin - Robert Mitchum (FIVE CARD STUD)
   


4. Robert Mitchum - Robert DeNiro (THE LAST TYCOON)
   


5. Robert DeNiro - Kevin Bacon (SLEEPERS)

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The Company

TNT is running a mini-series called The Company that traces CIA activities over a 40-year period, from the beginning of the Cold War through the demise of the Soviet Union.

It sounds worth watching.

But, based on the previews run by TNT, it looks like the "company" referred to in the title is the Hair Club for Men.
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I Hate Gen-X

Geez...this guy needs to lighten up. Actually, his site is pretty funny.

I Hate Gen-X---[and Y]
Obvious and vulgar, living contrived lives (link)

..Gen-X lazily, carelessly celebrates all that is ugly. There is no intellectual curiosity nor motive behind their desire to tear down that which is beautiful or elegant, no "deconstructivist" artsy-fartsyisms at the root of their aesthetic terror campaign. Rather, they are truly slackers: intellectually atrophied, creatively empty, politically ignorant and inept, and...socially retarded..

• Jeanine Garofalo Calculated frump. Utterly unfunny. She was, however, unintentionally hilarious during her saturation talkshow and news program appearances protesting the Iraq war, doing her usual shtick ... admiring herself as she smugly sprays words while saying absolutely nothing.
  
  
• Ann Coulter A once minor functionary for Gingrich leftover Spencer Abraham (the toadlike former 1-term Senator) who proves that self-promotion can take you anywhere - including the halls of media power ... oh, and look for the irresponsible ranting cunt's new book (she praises Joe McCarthy!) which doesn't seem too concerned with things like historical fact
  
  
• Kevin Smith He proves the point that Gen-X has nothing to say for he stated that he may make only ten films [merciful gods!] because he may "run out of things to say." After his shit-monster in 'Dogma' I kinda think he said it all.
  
  
• Matt Drudge Rich and famous yellow "journalist." An early web entrepeneur, Drudge almost single-handedly started the wasteful debacle (money, time, reputations) of the Clinton impeachment over the Monica Lewinsky affair. Drudge has no formal journalism training, but now earns millions and is treated like a pundit on par with Washington pros who've worked the town for decades. New, lower standards indeed! He once admitted to homosexual "experimentation" and in the interest of equal [prurient] time, I think Clinton supporters would like to know, Matt, ... were you bottom?
  
  
• Jack Black Not since Boomer James Belushi has someone so singularly untalented come along to hog up so much media space. Black is not good-looking, has no discernible talents, and is not the least bit amusing - despite his manic energy putting forth his over-the-top children's level shtick. Oh, by the way, your band sucks too Jack.
  
  
• Monica Lewinsky Unlike Judith Exner, who knew to keep her mouth shut, this tubby cocksucker blabbed to 13 of her closest girlfriends that she was giving oral pleasure to our then president and thus gave the right-wing asshole Republicans all the ammo they needed to precipitate a constitutional crisis. Emblematic of the utter cluelessness about social responsibility and propriety Gen-X embodies.
  
  
• Alanis Morisette I happened to catch the premiere of her breaththrough video (you know, she's wearing white and the video has blurry orange filters muddying the images) ... which I really liked. But that was her one good song. Everything she's done since has been from the lamb-in-heat school of vocalizations Gen-Xers seem to just love. They mistake bad singing for plaintive wailing. It just sounds whiney and awful, but Xers gobble it up.

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Two Wrongs...

Gwyneth Paltrow's latest make-over is NOT an improvement: (link)

It looks like her and Jeanine Garofalo had their genes spliced together in the telepod from "The Fly".

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Tastes Like Chicken

This newly discovered lobster makes a sound like a cricket and has a soft shell that feels like felt: (link)

A bizarre crustacean, tagged the 'musical furry lobster', has been found in Australian waters for the first time.

It's so unusual, with a furry shell and the ability to chirp, that scientists have placed it in its own genus.

But the lobster was almost lost to science.

Rumour has it the French researchers who discovered the world's first specimen in the 1980s didn't realise its significance. So, they ate it for dinner.

Damn French (I wonder if they're good with "freedom fries").

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How Could They Tell?

For one day, Roseanne Barr's Myspace page contained a number of posts that read like drunken rants. For example: (link)

"I need to stop drinking, but I do not wish to...I am in Hawaii on the beach drunk and trying to hide out from people who want me to do a new sitcom which I probably will do cuz [sic] I miss working," went one message attributed to Barr. "I still f--king hate tom arnolds f--king guys and everyone in show biz is a c---sucker too. I should not drink so much, as my own grown children say, but what the hell...I LIKE RED WINE!!!!"

On her official website, she revealed that an ex-employee had hacked into her Myspace account:

"One of the interns who was administering my MySpace page...has been fired," the 54-year-old comic wrote late Monday. "I apologize for the offensive blogging that went on there last night. I write only at RoseanneWorld.com. I apologize to all on MySpace who received the offensive bulletins. The matter has been handled."

For laughs, I went to RoseanneWorld.com and here's one of her REAL posts:

Ronald Reagan: the man who destroyed America, single handedly.
Bush: the men who robbed the savings and loans, the public coffers, ran the CIA and sold our country to saudi arabia and china.
Gingrich: a southern racist and a fat closet case.
Obama: same shit different day
Oprah: loves the rich white hollywood establishment
Hilary: union buster
Bill Clinton: liar thief and friend of bush sr.
Pelosi: such a coward, she might as well have balls.
Romney: insurance whore
democracy: what the president vice president and congress and the senate fear more than anything else, including terrorism
religion: child molesting, woman hating closet cases, money grubbing insurance whores
democrats: sold out spineless bottom feeders
republicans: child molesters and pimps.

I think the hacker makes more sense.

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All the News That's Fit to Pri

From Editor and Publisher:

Honey, They Shrunk The ....Times? Smaller 'NYT' Coming on Monday (link)

...In a front page note to readers this morning, the paper stated that the print edition they will hold tomorrow will be decidedly more compact.

Beginning Monday, the Times "will reduce the width of its pages by an inch and a half," to a 12-inch standard, the paper declared.

"The move will cut newsprint expenses and, in some printing press locations, will make special configurations unnecessary. Slight modifications in design will preserve the look and texture of The Times, with all existing features and sections, and" -- it admitted at the end -- "somewhat fewer words per page."

But fear not -- I'm sure the NY Times editors will come up with a formula to keep the rate of Left-wing ass kissing per page unchanged (nyuk nyuk nyuk).

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Why We Fight

My first thought when seeing this movie was the irony of how President Eisenhower, who was viewed as an idiot by many on the Left (and some on the Right), is now being hailed as a prophet for his "military industrial complex" speech.

The initial two-thirds of Why We Fight IS very interesting. The scenes at the trade show for military hardware are hilarious and it's NOT an exercise in self-promotion like ANYTHING Michael Moore has done.

However, Why We Fight loses a lot of credibility when it tries to build the thesis that the Iraq war was waged mainly as excuse for our government to USE the tools of war. This is vocalized in the film by, among others, Karen Kwiatkowski (who formerly served in the Pentagon):

We have a congress that failed, in every way, to ask the right questions, to hold the president to account. Our congress failed us miserably, and that's because many in congress are beholden to the military industrial complex.

As developed in the film, this idea comes across like a "fluoridated water" conspiracy theory (especially when simple incompetence would be easier to prove).

Also, Gore Vidal, who for some reason appears in LOTS of documentaries, turns up to rant on about how our use of the A-bombs on Japan was a war crime.

That said, Why We Fight is worth renting if only to watch the first hour.
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Cleavage 101

A fashion choice by Sen. Hillary Clinton created a minor public debate last week:

Hillary Clinton's Tentative Dip Into New Neckline Territory (link)
...It was startling to see that small acknowledgment of sexuality and femininity peeking out of the conservative -- aesthetically speaking -- environment of Congress. After all, it wasn't until the early '90s that women were even allowed to wear pants on the Senate floor. It was even more surprising to note that it was coming from Clinton, someone who has been so publicly ambivalent about style, image and the burdens of both.

The US debates Hillary's cleavage (link)
...The story has even been taken up by the Clinton campaign itself, in a fundraising e-mail that went out to supporters saying, "Frankly, focusing on women's bodies instead of their ideas is insulting" and urging readers to "Take a stand against this kind of coarseness and pettiness in American culture. And take a stand for Hillary, the most experienced, most qualified candidate running for president.”

Because SOMEONE has to, I'll help sort things out.

In regard to women politicians and their public displays of cleavage, here's how the voting goes:

Sen. Hillary Clinton - NO


House Speaker Nancy Pelosi - NO


Argentine Sen. Cristina Fernandez de Kirchner - YES!!!!


There endith the lesson.
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The 8th Wonder of the World

Ladies and Gentlemen...Michelle Pfeiffer! (link)



She's in three flicks this year and, at 49 (yes f-o-r-t-y n-i-n-e), is still quite hot!
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Nerd Humor

While I still don't understand the appeal of Harry Potter, here's what happens when two pillars of geekdom (computers and sci-fi/fantasy) collide:

The resignation of the IT director from Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry (link)

Headmaster:

I regret that I must resign my position, effective two weeks ago, at least.

It is simply impossible under these conditions to create a modern, integrated, flexible IT architecture aligned with the school’s educational mission and objectives.

Deployment of the OC-3 fiber backbone met insuperable difficulties, as you know, when the cabling crew was attacked repeatedly by Dementors. Cabling staff rarely are effervescent people in the best of times, and having their life force sucked through their faces by cloaked, shadowy horrors as they lay paralyzed in icy terror is a serious de-motivator...(more)

Oh, there's more. It goes on and on and on like that for about ten paragraphs. But I must stop now. I've been to two Star Trek conventions and that's stupidest thing I ever read in an email.

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